A PCP journey

First of all, thank you Patrick and Chen for taking me on this journey and guiding me through these 90 days.

I can confidently say that I finished my 90-days of PCP and have achieved what I never expected to achieve. Whilst I still don’t have a body like Christie Brinkley or Claudia Schiffer, I am much closer to it than I ever expected. I didn’t think that I would be able to do what I have. And I am proud of myself for doing it.

My PCP journey has been very arduous at times. The exercises were hard for me.  Especially the fact that you may have finished for the day, but the next day you had to start all over again. Today, my last day of exercises showed me, however, just how much I have attained over the last 90 days.  Not just in body but also in mind. I still don’t like the act of skipping, and am probably worse than I was at the beginning, but I see the results and therefore it is something I will continue to do as it is a lot more palatable than jogging or running for me.

If I had to sum up my PCP experience it would be what I feel I have achieved along the way (not in order of importance):

* Commitment

* A frame of mind of JFD. In the past I would have given up.

* A stricter eating regime, specifically eating enough. I now realize that I never ate enough. I also gained a better understanding of what I have been told for a long time about portion control. In terms of content, I’ve been working on that for a while, so that was just a continuation.

* Admiration for fellow PCPers.

* The knowledge that PCP is 90 days out of my life. PC is the rest of my life and something that will be there every single day. If I do something everyday I will do it. If I do it only a few times a week it is too easy to put off for another day. Also as Patrick says, exercises are not fun, but it is something that you have to do.

* I now know and believe that if I keep at it I can achieve my ultimate goal. I don’t think I actually believed that it was attainable.

* I am happier, more emotionally grounded, fitter, look a lot healthier and slimmer.

* I am shocked that I have actually inspired people around me with my PCP results. Much of this from recent comments from friends who haven't seen me for a while

* My husband and children are proud of me and that is what is most important to me. I am proud to say that I will be 50 next year and I feel that I have done what I can to make sure that I am healthy and strong to be there for my family in the years to come.

I would not have been able to carry on many days without the blogs. I set myself a goal at the beginning, to make sure that I blogged every day otherwise I would lose momentum. If I could sustain that commitment then I could also sustain the exercises and the skipping. The only days I did not blog were either due to travel or technical issues with getting onto my blog. But there were many days when I wasn’t sure I could keep going. I was very, very tired a lot of the time. Without the blogs and the support I may have given in. Apologies for so much whinging on my part. A huge thank you goes to my teammates, specifically Tracey, Kevin and Inés. I have no idea what our team name is. Also a huge thank you to Kim, Richard,  Bruce, Georgie, Pete, Amanda, Noel, and Mini for helping keeping me going. Tony and Peter thank you for inspiring Fraser to tell me about PCP.

My journey has not just been the last 90 days. I did not think I would achieve as much as I have so I didn’t bother to take measurements before I started. But I do have a reference point, which was exactly a year ago. Most of these gains in measurements are due to PCP. My journey continues, mainly in my stomach area (striving for those flat abs with muscle definition) as I am happy with most of the rest of my body. 

But I have achieved a lot to be proud of:

                                        1-Sept-2010                        1-Jun-2011            30-Aug-2011

Weight                                 75.6kg                                   72kg                        67.9kg

Chest                                   104cm                                                                    99cm

Under boobs                        86cm                                                                     84cm

Waist                                   99cm                                                                     79cm

Hips                                    104cm                                                                    94cm

Thighs                                 57cm                                                                     56cm

Arms                                   30cm                                                                     28cm

The pictures put it all in perspective

I have come from this on Day 1

To this on Day 90

And from here

To here

Although I have lost 4kg from the start of PCP I have lost a lot more in other ways:
* I used to wear XL, I can now fit into M.
* I have gone down 2 dress sizes.

I have a new mantra..... BELIEVE AND YOU WILL ACHIEVE

Day 90: Postponed

Did my skipping and also swimming yesterday but we were at the pool so I had to leave super set bonanza until I got home. Only problem was I got home close to 10pm, and was feeling dreadful. Knew that my knee couldn't stand floor jumps and could barely move my shoulder. Felt ill yada yada yada. So went to bed very upset at feeling ill and because I was going to go out on a whimper in my mind. Slept badly and woke up grumpy. So decided to postpone my last PCP day and do everything all over again today. Then Day 91 will be my Day 90 tomorrow.

Today All exercises done, skipping done, off for a swim later today. Feel SO much better. Will write my final blog after tomorrow.

Day 88: Yakult lady made my day

I am so glad that Patrick said get lots of sleep as I have been doing that almost every day in anticipation of the start of school for the kids when I get into action very early, go all day and get a lot less sleep than I have this summer. So, as it is Saturday I was lying in bed reading, putting off skipping as long as I could, but not before I fell over from hunger. Anticipation of my cup of coffee got me out of bed. So off down the road I go.......

About 3/4 of the way through, after having met and greeted no end of neighbours, who all seem to be outside, our local Yakult lady comes up behind me on her snazzy Yakult 3-wheeler scooter. Her first words were " Wow, you have lost a tonne of weight". She even said that whilst she was driving up she thought to herself "moshikashite......." ("is it?"). I checked through my blogs and the last time I had met the Yakult lady was on the 19th of June. Apparently my body shape has changed so much that she didn't recognise me. Since there are not that many blonde non-Japanese women wearing bright pink T-shirts skipping along the road in an area where there are not an overwhelming amount of foreigners, it wasn't a facetious "is it?". I am so very, very pleased. This lovely lady whom I see once in a while and always chat to (I told her I couldn't stop for long as I had to keep skipping), in just a few words managed to light a fire under me that had already been simmering. The ignition to the fire had been before I got on my skipping gear when I tried on my old jeans which I hadn't done since June. Another BIG surprise.

Am putting together some photo ideas. Only just realised that Day 90 is Monday not Tuesday as I had mentally been calculating. This means that the kids can take some photos on Day 90 as they only have a short orientation at school on Monday before the near academic year starts with a vengeance on Tuesday as does the next phase of my life post-PCP.

This is the kind of scooter my Yakult lady drives.....

Day 87: My teammate

I really like my teammates who blog. I do not like my teammate pain. I also don't like pain's little friends, one of whom resides in my previously dislocated shoulder and the other in my calf.

20 floor jumps seemed like a breeze today after 40 creeps. I never thought that I would say that. The shoulder exercises however felled me, due mainly to my teammates friend who now resides constantly in my left shoulder. My shoulder has been troubling me most of the day now for a while, and feels very weak strangely. I couldn't hold open a door in the supermarket today. I was unable to get even one full set out of any of the exercises for the shoulder today. It was accompanied by not only pain, but also nausea and dizziness as well as the total absence of any of the previous panache with which I might have done any of these exercises. Abs not great either. Abject failure was quick to the draw but that was also due to residing dizziness.

I will need to have a special bonding session with my friend pain. Wish I could have a nice chat over a glass of wine and hope that pain got so drunk it fell over and was past resuscitation. Chance would be a fine thing.

Day 86: Benny Hill-esque

Suffice it to say that my skipping remains supremely frustrating. But I amused myself immensely with the super sets. As Pete said, they whizzed by so by the end I felt like this........

Day 85: Aquatic fun

Skipping and exercises (minus abs) all done for the day. All before breakfast, so by the time I got to the abs got one set into V-sits and then I couldn't get my body to move for the 2nd set. Decided I would benefit more from doing abs together with 8MA later today

Off to Tokyo Summerland for some aquatic fun. Hope that I can find some obstacle courses to do my cardio. All before

School starts next Tuesday. None of us are ready to go back.

Day 84: Stuck between two hard chairs and a void

Failure defined today was doing elevated tricep dips, reaching failure and getting stuck on the two chairs, unable to move up or down, left or right, and absolutely no way of getting off the chairs. Only possible ways of getting out of this situation = falling off the chair or digging very deep and finding a muscle somewhere that was working to get me off the chairs. Found a muscle. A very small one. Was a particularly funny moment when I thought "that's it, I am stuck here" and no one else in the house was up yet. Silly woman.

Despite getting stuck on the chairs, all exercises done and dusted early. I had to do yesterday's exercises today as I didn't get home until too late and had left them for the afternoon. Serves me right.

Day 83: Daily fix

I've been thinking this for a few days at the back of my mind, but today it really came crashing home as we now only have 7 days left......... What am I going to do without Patrick's daily e-mail?????!!!!!! Every day some nugget of wisdom.

Also been thinking about my body. Feeling good, albeit exhausted. Arms and upper body looking good, but need to work on the old thighs and genetics don't favour a six pack, but will still attempt to get at least partway there as I aim to eliminate the soft doughy abs. I can actually feel some muscles in there which for me is a HUGE step forward. Just that there is also still a large layer of fat there. I know that I am not alone in this. The next 7 days currently seem longer than the 90 days when I started. But at the same time those 7 days will just whizz by. I realise that my journey has only just begun as now I have to embark on the next stage without my daily e-mail or blogs. I know it hasn't been the same for everyone, but the blogs have really, really helped me and without them I doubt that I would have made it this far.

Day 82: Feeling good

Feeling good, but very, very, very tired. Slept well last night, however woke up exhausted still. Skipping in the light rain and almost autumn like temperatures was nice. Strange how the weather has cooled off so suddenly. Is summer over? Exercises extremely difficult, but that is par for the course at the moment and likely to ramp up even more in the next 8 days I suspect.

Day 81: New awakenings with budding awareness

In a bid towards a new approach to skipping, I have dispensed with my iPod both yesterday and today. It is amazing how 21 minutes actually whizzes past when you are concentrating on the sounds of the cicadas, the traffic in the background and in the foreground the whizzing sound of the rope. Skipping skills were actually a notable improvement. Lots of trips still, but less, and increased rotations. Also an increased sense of peace. I do still catch myself "thinking" too much, but then shift focus to the middle distance and make myself think of "nothing".

One interruption in this semi state of mindlessness however was one of our cats who ran across the road with a  sparrow in her mouth whilst I was skipping. This was the second sparrow she had landed today. My youngest daughter managed to save said sparrow and lovingly took it inside to minister to its hurt wing and see if it was OK. I just happened to be near the house when this operation was occurring and was able to stop. Once the rescue had been achieved I went off around the block to complete the skip. As I was returning home daughter No. 2 comes storming out of the house in a complete tizz......... her sister had let the bird go and she wasn't ready to release it yet. Off she stomps into the neighbourhood (as I find out later, to find the bird). She's only 9, so when she didn't come back after I had set up all my equipment for exercising, I ran around the neighbourhood for quite a while looking for her. Voila, extra cardio. Finally found her and all well, except no bird. Probably some other cat's dinner.

Exercises went smoothly, or so I thought. Apparently I was making a lot of noise counting. Nothing untoward though and no distractions other than very quick failure on all shoulder exercises.

I do keep thinking that although rationally I know we are revving up the number of movements and the number of sets, emotionally I still find it difficult to accept that I cannot always do them all. Surely I should be getting better at them, not worse. And surely I shouldn't be waking up every morning exhausted, even with lots of sleep. I can however see that there has been a marked positive difference in the week since we returned from Bali. Losing a little bit of weight daily, but hoping that is not muscle and it is fat melting off my body.

Day 80: Definitely half the pain once it is shared

The details of our non-gym workout you can see on Tracey's blog. She has the most adorable little boy who despite having a fever was absolutely amazing and so very adorable. A mini-Tracey. I got quite a few cuddles and distracting him whilst doing the bicycles made it the most pleasant bicycles that I have ever done. Looking at a little baby climbing up the stairs waving a piece of cloth whilst you do your reps makes it all the more easy as you forget that you are doing reps--sort of. Tricep dips felled me long before Tracey. It was amazing to see Tracey in action. Very, very admiring fan you have here.

Thank you so much for a lovely lunch, a fabulous chat, wonderful company and a workout that really was a lot easier for being shared.

Because of the rain, our change in schedule and therefore no chance to use the outside pool, I am not sure that a marathon run through a home centre, IKEA and Costco suffices as extra cardio. It felt like it thugh. Only just completed my skips followed swiftly by 8MA. Could just as easily have not done the skipping but felt it crucial that I stick to my plan of really rocking for the rest of the programme. Am visualising sleek abs. Am beginning to believe that with time I can achieve this.

Do however need a lot more practice at emptying my mind whilst skipping had to keep correcting tendency to think about things, look at the ground, not look in the distance, wish I wasn't there etc., etc. However as I just realised, I feel SOOOOOO much better for having skipped, for having tripped just a little less, for increasing marginally my number of rotations. It does of course help that the temperature in Tokyo has dropped by between 10-15 degrees since yesterday. In fact it dropped 10 degrees between leaving home and meeting Tracey (and no, she does not live on a high mountain).

Day 79: Better

Thank you for all your support. It really, really helps a lot.

I went to bed very tired physically last night and woke up equally tired. I did have a bonanza sleep as the alarm didn't go off and my children are so well trained that they left me to sleep. So I feel a lot better for it. Not quite a goddess yet, but had my 10-year old take some more photos and they are much better. I think they may be better though because my mental state is better.

Skipping was very, very hard today. Hadn't read about Mu Shin before I skipped and realise that I stress about the actual skipping, and I look down. Definitely not an empty mind. I would be thrown out of Zen school. Will practice tomorrow. But today whole body still very tired and very leaden. The skipping was in a word "arduous". Having something to eat and then will embark upon exercises. Dog walking later tonight. If I do it after dark then the dog speed walks. In the heat and in the sun there might be some sitting down in the shade involved which is not conducive to cardio.

Breakfast this morning was definitely eat to live rather than live to eat. Only pre-cooked veggies I had were green beans so I had 140g of green beans. Whilst a bit boring it was offset by the coconut muffins that I made yesterday and had for my carbs.

Day 78: Bleah

Unfortunately I tend to be easily overwhelmed. I think I must have slipped into a mini depression sometime overnight again. Woke up knowing that I had to skip. Constraints are the heat and other things I needed to do, so there really was a sense of urgency that I just kept putting to the side. So, I ended up procrastinating for about 4 hours. Not good.

Yesterday had a high point. Was told that I looked like I had lost tonnes of weight by someone I hadn't seen in a while. And a low-ish point: managed to swim for 32 minutes. I used to be a good swimmer pre-PCP. But my arms/shoulders just ached. Ended up having to do walks in the park and lying on my back and kicking. I also watched the clock. About every 5 minutes I looked up and it felt like forever. So where did my swimming ability go?

And today...... during my procrastination I watched Patrick's video. That was good. I also read his new blog message about those super fit people in ads. Then made the mistake of trying to calculate my body fat percentage. Input weight, circumference of waist, hips, wrist and forearm. Not good at all. I have 32% body fat. So I am obese. I feel obese now but this morning I was thinking mmmm my ribs are starting to show through and there are some positive signs. When I went to download the photos we took yesterday for photo updates I had to dive below the desk. They were dreadful. When did I develop cottage cheese tummy? And to top it all off I weighed myself this morning (and yesterday) and am still only 3-4kg down from the start. I would like to say that I didn't have that much to lose, but that would indicate that I live in fairy la-la land. So after this extended session this morning of beating myself up mentally I went for my skip in the blazing sun 34 degree at 1pm. MAD. But I just wanted to finally get it over. Got angry at myself for tripping as it just made me hotter.

Decided that since all the things that I was supposed to do today have now gone by the wayside (clearing up things in the house), I might as well try to breathe deeply, ease up off the mental accelerator and go with the flow. I will do my exercises later this afternoon and then when it is less hot I will take my lazy doggy for a walk in the park (not the other one which is a rambunctious puppy who gets to go tomorrow) . Need to wait for the heat to abate or her poor paws will burn.

So breathe deeply, blow it all out. Let the rancour at myself blow over. Go to bed tonight and hope that a goddess emerges tomorrow when we take the revised photos.

Day 77: Rivers of sweat

Decided I needed maximum fat burn today so hopped out of bed with my very, very weary body and trot-skipped around the block multiple times. Have changed my venue to the block outside the back door instead of the front door for a change of scene. Very hot, lots more skips but then we have 3 minutes extra.... and absolutely rivers of sweat. Stings the eyes.

Off to the pool with the kids where I will swim laps. Have charged my iShuffle so that I can listen to tunes whilst I swim. Hope that my arms and legs don't fall off like they feel they are going to now.

Day 76: Trot, trot, trot

Trotted around the block a number of times. MUCH better. Only negative was that I seem to whack myself in the back of the head with the rope rather than trip over the rope. It hurts. But a higher number of rotations and significantly less frustration.

Was treating myself to a lazy morning so only skipped and did the workout just past 6pm. Whilst my body was warm and well fed it also failed more quickly than I would have liked on some of the exercises.... those that I was able to do better even the last time I did them, namely elevated tricep dips and incline pull-ups. I am hoping that is a good sign and the muscles are still shredded from last time. I certainly feel shredded.

I tried to use my staircase for a kung fu sit up again and ended up not even being able to hang on. At least the last time I could at least dangle myself. What is wrong with me?

Day 75: Jet-lag???!!!!!

I think I have to attribute this feeling of major jet-lag proportions to the last two action packed days with the kids in Bali and then an overnight flight with no sleep at all. Today has been a write-off. My husband must be really glad to see me! Not.

Three weeks in Bali with the kids to avoid the heat of Tokyo and sending them off to horse riding camp and Green Camp was absolutely fabulous, but not recommended if you are eating in restaurants every single night. Breakfast and lunch and fruit snacks all OK, but dinner was more difficult as I found it difficult to gauge protein quantities and think I may have been over generous. Plus extreme hunger made me reach for bread sticks some nights, and in the latter week wine was drunk (not in vast quantities, but not zero). So I have already had my small indulgence. My daughter had brought a mille feuille back to Tokyo with her and hadn't eaten it so I had that this afternoon. It is now 6.30pm and she has just asked where it is. She looked a little shocked when I said I had eaten it.

So my last indulgence?..... YUMMY! I felt guilty because I had snuck one in yesterday too pre-flight. So I have thoroughly had my indulgence and LOVED it. No feeling sick. But conscious of really enjoying it and knowing that from today to the end of PCP I will NOT be going out for dinner and will stick 1000% to the dietary requirements. I beat myself up sufficiently in Bali about not sticking 100% to the track and know that I have to be very strict with myself for a lot longer. But then I knew that anyway as the PCP diet is close to the metabolic type diet that I am supposed to be on for about 6-12 months. On PCP I have actually gone off that one as in order to add carbs I have eaten brown rice and grain bread which I am not strictly supposed to in order to get rid of a fungal infection. Wine doesn't help that either, but got so tired of only drinking water that I really enjoyed my daily Bali coffee and the few glasses of wine.

I will miss my gado gado. Steamed veggies (and lots of variety in the one portion) to order has been fabulous. Had it every single day, wherever I went.

I finally managed to watch Week 8 and Week 9 videos. It would have helped me a lot if I had been able to do so at the time. I SO HAVE TUNNEL VISION! Will work that one out.

Day 74: Done and dusted

Skipping and exercises all done and dusted for the day, ready to go to Turtle Island where I will see what I can do for extra cardio.

I have found skipping with 2 legs to be problematic, so solved it today by hopping from one leg to the other and actually found a rhythm (for a change!). No idea how many skips as I mistakenly pressed the clear button two thirds of the way through. Doesn't matter though, I was very tired and sweat buckets at the end so must have been doing the right thing (for me).

Pistol squats should never have been invented.

I was defeated with failure before the end of most sets in all the shoulder exercises, but then my shoulders have been particularly fatigued of late.

Even V-sits were hard, but they follow on from yesterday's replacement for Kung-Fu situps.

Other than that, have my morphine fix for the day! Whohoooo. When I read Patrick's e-mail this morning I thought "Yes, I have, I have been in a funk" but then realised it centered around not exercising, not a full blown out depression funk, just feeling low because I wasn't doing what I was supposed to.

When I get back to Tokyo I will finally get to listen to the videos for the past 2 weeks and also will go back through the e-mails.

Day 73: K-n-a-c-k-e-r-e-d

I was knackered when I woke up this morning and now even more knackered having finished my workout. I think the bicycle is going to kill me. Elevated tricep dips are hurting my previously dislocated shoulder which has been giving me a dull ache for weeks now.

Back to virtual skipping too. Didn't start working out (& skipping) until 5pm yesterday and the skipping was great, as Bruce said it would be. This morning, in extreme state of tiredness, I just couldn't get my feet over the rope, so old Rocky moves back in play. Very funny to watch mind you.

One of the reasons for the tiredness is lack of sleep. My husband is back in Tokyo and the open living in Bali makes me nervous as the kids are in one room and I didn't want to lock them in in case they needed the bathroom or had a nightmare in the middle of the night. So I startled at every single noise and hardly slept. The frogs jumping around the living room must have thought "who is this mad woman?" every time I opened my door to check a noise. I think I may sleep on the floor of their room tonight for my own sanity.

Off to the Bali Safari & Marine Park today. Will take my rope to see if I can actually do any jumps and maybe get in my extra 30 min of cardio whilst the kids frolic in the pool.

Day 72: Lazy day

Lazy day so far. Exhausted after a few hours in and on the river yesterday. Worst part was the 500 odd steps down to the river. Everyone else's legs were shaking at the end of that. Mine felt like jelly, but nowhere near the jelly from creeps or floor jumps. Others in our groups could not stop shaking. So that is the further evidence of improvement in my body from PCP. The 300 odd steps walk up was also surprisingly OK.

However, this morning was another matter. Has taken me all day to think about starting my skipping and exercises and not sure how I am going to manage an additional 30 min cardio on top of all that. Very, very weak. Very tired. Very bleah. Not helped by no real schedule today as that has enabled me to take my time. Taking the kids to the Safari park tomorrow so will need to make sure that I do another very early morning. Which just makes it even harder today to get my act together. But I will, because I have to.

Day 71: Birds singing at the crack of dawn and PCP blogs to start my day

Going white water rafting in Ubud today so set the alarm for 6am so that I could do my exercises calmly before leaving. Have been feeling rushed this past week, so allowing 3 hours before departure to do everything, which includes a leisurely breakfast with a pot of Bali coffee on the veranda. 6am came too quickly as I hadn't slept well worrying about my exercises. It was still quite dark but the birds were singing and the gardens around the villa complex are so very beautiful. But,  I was soooooooo sleepy and sore and stiff. We had been to a water park yesterday so was quite stiff from climbing all the stairs. So instead of getting into it immediately I sat for a while and read PCP blogs which did the trick and motivated me. Especially just hearing the birds sing and water trickling in the pond, a man and his daughter taking their offerings to the temple, waving gaily.

Skipping was dreadful. Truly atrocious. After I had stumbled at every single swing of the rope and only done 134 skips in 2 minutes I decided that enough was enough. So for the next 16 minutes I danced waving my arms either in the air or as if I was skipping. I did Sylvester Stallone type moves, I jigged, I punched, I LOVED it as I felt I was actually achieving something. When I am tired skipping is bad anyway. When I can barely move my feet it is even worse. So I decided for a change that giving up and crying about it just wasn't worth it, so find an alternative. When I get back to Tokyo I will be able to do my running skips again. For now, I may just have to dance. It was a phenomenal 16 minutes of dancing (minus the 30 seconds when it was going so well I thought I would try the rope again.... ooops, back to virtual rope and the dance moves).

Failure, failure, failure.

Failure today was Da Vinci's, shoulder fly, V-sits and side crunches. Maybe the V-sits because I did my Day 69 exercises yesterday and substituted Kung Fu sit ups with V-sits. Couldn't move an inch on the last few of the last set. Or it is because my whole body still feels shredded from yesterday. Da Vinci's..... couldn't even do the previously prescribed sets. Got to the third set and the wheels fell off. Or maybe it was because the word "FAILURE" was glaring up at me from the screen. Tomorrow is another day to see how it all goes.

So, hoping that white water rafting counts as my 30 minutes extra cardio. If the water doesn't require paddling I could still just paddle for 30 minutes although that might get me in trouble.

Bad news on the photo update front though. Dropped my camera on Friday and suspect a car ran over it as it is dead. So no pics until next week when I can get to my other camera at home. That means I can get those abs tattooed on in the meantime.

Day 70: Skipping on the beach

Had a fabulous session skipping up and down the beach near KuDeTa yesterday. Quite a revelation. The jogging whilst skipping method really does work better for me, but not feasible on the potholed roads near where we are staying. Waves a bit of a challenge, but still very good. First time I have skipped in bare feet. Not something to be done too often though as with shoes is a lot better. But it felt good.

Workout also OK (did the workout today as we ran out of time yesterday and I didn't bring my bands to the beach). Although I feel like my whole body is leaden and my muscles feel like shredded wheat. I think that is good. Doesn't feel good though!

Day 69: Celebrating

Celebrating 13 years of marriage today to a wonderful man. We've known each other for 17 years, had two children and gone through many periods of my lack of health/fitness. I am proud to say that today I stand proud of myself after 13 years of marriage and looking at becoming 50 next year.... a huge thank you to PCP for allowing me now to go to the beach this afternoon and feel good about myself. I am not where I want to be yet, but I know that I just have to stick with it and keep on track whilst at the same time living my life.  I also want to teach my children that you are healthy only if you eat, and eat the right foods. My 9 year old yesterday told me "I am never going to try beer or wine, because if I do I might like it and then I might drink it. If I don't drink it ever I won't know so I won't drink it." So, looking forward to the next 21 days, but know it won't end there. I have a lot more work to do.

Day 68: My concept of failure is being redefined

I have been beating myself up about feeling like I am failing PCP and wanting to give up because I feel like I am failing. OK, it always takes longer for the penny to drop with me, but what I have had to force myself to understand is that I am not failing, but that I am sometimes getting to the level of muscle failure that we are striving for. It is hard mentally not to feel like you aren't doing a good job when you can't move your leg or arm an inch, but in fact that is what you are supposed to be doing. Nobody ever said that this was going to be easy. From the grunting in my workout today (lots of failure there and LOTS of sweat, I was sliding around on the marble floors) I think I did a good job today. But it is the first day that I actually realised I did a good job. Slow learner.

So I agree wholeheartedly with Patrick's e-mail today saying we are changing our whole lives. I just have to be careful not to have a hissy fit when I can't do the exercises. Also need to get back to working out in the morning as too many other factors get involved later in the day.

Everything done and dusted for the day. Am off to the W Hotel for brunch with the kids... they get cooking lessons, arts, crafts, and magic shows. I get to sit in a nice setting with my cool water and will graze PCP style for the duration of the brunch.

Day 67: Discombobulated

Feeling like I am becoming a bit discombobulated. Out of touch as can't read blogs or watch Patrick's videos. Think I will just start from Day 60 again once I have gotten to Day 90.

Day 66: broadband challenged

We have been super busy going places with the kids and getting up incredibly early the past 2 days so I made a strategic error in deciding to try to do my exercises at night. But then everything has been running late so by the time we get back we are running straight back out the door to dinner. Staying with friends makes it a bit more challenging for me to take that hour out and keep everyone else waiting and at the end of the day I am too exhausted to do anything. So for the past 3 days I have been doing no exercises and also didn’t manage to skip yesterday. Thought about trying to catch up and then decided, draw a line….. to just get back on the bicycle and start afresh, on the correct day, Day 66, not Day 64 or Day 63 or Day 65… was checking to see if there were any exercises that were more palatable, but no, it all looks painful.

Maybe by day 90 I will have improved on my skipping. But I JFD it although the past few times I have wanted to give up. I also have to realize that we are supposed to get to muscle failure and that I have to separate that from feeling like a failure. Mental challenge here we come. Failure left right and centre today.

Am finding internet access very difficult here. Posting blogs and commenting on other people’s blogs is excruciating as the connection often disappears (very frustrating when you just written a comment that goes “poof” into oblivion). Watching Patrick’s videos is a total no-go area, so am 2 weeks behind there. Still not sure if the 4 x 12 V-sits that I have substituted for the kung fu sit-ups are correct as I have also seen reference to 4 x 16…. I suppose I should just go for the most to try to get this 6-pack. Very curious now also to find out what the tunnel vision is. But that will have to wait another week and a half until I get back to Tokyo so that I can download the clips.

Other than that the food is OK. Difficult to manage in the evenings but am trying my best to eat salad with a little bit of protein. Probably eating a bit too much protein. Have noticed the past 2 nights that I am so hungry by the time that I get to dinner that I have been stealing bread sticks from the bread basket. Will need to find a remedy for that. Am eating a lot later than I would chose to do, but again, cannot control that so just have to find a way to control myself. Maybe munch on some beans or corn (that’s what I have available in the fridge) before we head out so that at least there is something in my tummy.

Day 63: Mmmmmm strong? That would be a "no"

"Hope you're feeling healthy, strong, and ready for the last push here."


Unfortunately not feeling very healthy as body aches all over and legs and arms are tired, so as a result not feeling very strong at all. I know that we are continuing to push ourselves, but increasingly feeling like I am going backwards rather than forwards. During the incline pull-ups today I could barely even lift my body off the ground. But, I am going to have to take it a bit easier on myself.


Finished the exercises for the day and am going to listen to all the advice.... today I will be contemplating my navel. Luckily I can now actually see it. Some lazing in the sun, which I have still not yet managed to do since arrival in Bali. Hope the sun comes out. Maybe a foray into the pool, and then if I can I will practice skipping this afternoon to see if a new way of doing (which I have yet to devise) helps at all.


Over and out!

Day 62: Better

Mentally better, thanks totally to my support group who have been cheering me on. Thank you everyone, for being there.

No exercises or skipping today. On purpose. I just want to know why my entire body still hurts!

Day 61 cont: Roadblock

This is a very bumpy journey for me and today I hit a huge roadblock. Been building up with feeling under the weather, but today I just couldn't get through the exercises. Did the skipping with great difficulty and decided to listen to my body and skipped straight through to the ab work. That nearly cost me my sanity.

I am ashamed of myself, I feel like I am weak and incapable. I am disappointed in myself. And also frustrated.

Holiday eating out not working for me. Having trouble gauging volumes and think I may be erring somewhere. So the decision I have made is that the scales will just have to go with me and also if I have to I will take my own food.

Day 61: No action

Not feeling well at all. Felt dreadful yesterday, but woke up feeling worse. Had breakfast out and since they didn't have veg decided I would have my fruit and then veg later. Feel so sick I can't face veg now so will try and settle stomach and feeling of malaise with a high veg content lunch. Exercise will have to wait until late afternoon when it is less sunny (quite cool today) and also to see if there is any improvement.

I know what I need to do, but I can't do it.

Day 60: Jelly legs & arms, nausea, near vomit, tears

Day 60 and two thirds of the way through, today was the first day that truly nearly defeated me. Squats were OK, but then after the pistol squats and creep my legs became pure jelly. By the time I got through the shoulder exercises the arms were jelly. Midway through came the nausea and then the desire to throw up. Nearly gave in but decided to listen to that voice which is Patrick sitting on my shoulder and kept on going (with great difficulty). Interesting that someone whom I have never met can have a strong influence on me and can sit there on my shoulder or hover in midair, all by virtue of sending me a daily e-mail. By comparison the ab work was easy.

Remain exhausted, but proud of myself that I have made it to Day 60. Am determined to power through not only the next 30 days, but hope that this is an indication of what I will continue to be doing even after I have finished the 90 days.

It is a time of facing myself, pushing myself and also of discovering myself.

Day 59: Exhausted

Everywhere in my body hurts. I am exhausted. Didn't think the exercises had stepped up that much, but am dragging myself through the day.

Skipping today sucked. Leaden lags. Exhaustion cut number of jumps by 20%. Man oh man oh man is it frustrating to not even be able to do 10 jumps consecutively. And that was good. I stumbled on average every 2 jumps. But I did feel proud of myself that whilst it was all a pile of doodoo I kept on going. Not jumping also makes you sweat.

I would like to think that it was nothing to do with my giving in to temptation and having a millefeuile yesterday. Believe it or not I do not have a sweet tooth, but above chocolate mousse I love millefeuile and you can't get them in Japan the way I love... only Holland (and now Bali!). So for the first time in 3 years of seeing one, I lost all discretion.

This afternoon is another afternoon of exercises. Tomorrow is another day of skipping. Since it is Saturday I think I will dispense with first thing in the morning tomorrow to see if a) that is any better, b) I think I need a break from getting up before everyone else.

Day 58: It is what it is

Still on the skipping band wagon. Have been playing around with best way to skip for me. Am ultra impressed by all the rotations everyone is doing and feeling lacking. But I tried this morning to do an imitation of Rocky. And stumbled at every single jump. For a lot of jumps. So I went back to what I find works for me. OK, so I only managed 62-63 skips a minute. But I grit my teeth and I keep going. Also if I managed to do 1,000, then I hop 2,000 due to my weird manner of hopping twice for each loop. Tried to do it once and fell over. Plus, if I stop I lose my groove. I can keep on going, pretty hard (for me), as long as I don't stop. Had a drink after 11 minutes which was a mistake. But I reckon that it is what it is, and it is the best I can do.

Am liking the changes to my body. My new cotton trousers from Scotland fell off me today. Bit embarrassing as I was walking down the rod at the time. Think I might be down a size since then. Will update photos in the next few days.

Not liking the extra sets. Think my teeth may have cracked in the process. My arms fell off last night.

Maybe if I paint a sixpack onto my stomach that will inspire me.

Day 57: Skipping was GREAT today

OK, not without any hiccups but much, much better than up to now and the very first time that I have actually enjoyed skipping. Straight through for 16 minutes... on a daily loop of:

Reach Out (Take That)
Hot & Cold (Katy Perry)
I Kissed a Girl (Katy Perry)
I Got a Feeling (Blackeyed Peas)
and then a bit of Walking on Sunshine (Katrina and the Waves)

Not yet done my exercises but will do them after dinner.

Bit technically challenged here so not been able to post any comments on other blogs. May have to move my laptop around the garden to get a better connection. Plan for tomorrow as another with that as my challenge.

Day 56: Paradise

Arrived in Paradise last night and woke up in the wee hours of the morning to the most torrential rain. Thought to myself, this is Bali, it will stop soon. At 8am got soaked when I had to run to the breakfast pavilion, but manna from heaven at 9.30am despite our conviction that it was never going to stop the sky lightened up and there was some indication the sun would actually be seen today. Kids went off to horse camp, and my friend and I did a huge shop at the local supermarket for water, veggies and fruit. And coffee. Beer for the boys. Some treats for the kids. And an electric zapper tennis racket to fry the mozzies (apologies to any mozzie lovers).

I was over the moon yesterday when I realised that if worst came to the worst I could have gado gado and chicken satay at every meal that I eat out if I can't find anything else on the menu. In fact, I may take advantage of that bonus and not bother to cook for myself other than the veggies for breakfast.... not a lot of veggies on the menu other than fried tomato and mushrooms to go with the sausage and diced potato which I will not be having.

Had a millisecond of a waver last night when my friend asked was I really not drinking at all, but my last foray into alcohol land was really not good, so desisted and happily will continue to sip my water. I tried a Perrier with lime the other day and didn't really like it strangely. Part of a metabolic type testing diet that I have been on since the start of this year means that I can't have any citrus. Perhaps there is a reason that I didn't like the lime because my body doesn't like it. Maybe I am imagining things, but I feel dreadful when I have things on the list that I am not supposed to have (they are all PCP compliant and therefore have been adding in a few things for variety), so in many weird and wonderful ways am (finally) beginning to listen to my body. One of the things my body does not seem to like though is flying. Felt ill again on this flight (only 7 hours) which is weird as I felt sick both to and from Scotland.

I was very, very, very happy to discover it was Tuesday and I didn't have to do any exercises, just skip. Am still very tired from yesterday's workout.  Both legs and arms. Ready to go tomorrow (I think) after discovering that the improvement in the view (lovely Balinese garden view) whilst I skip and the tunes on my iPod are great to groove to. Finally realised why I don't do as many skips as some of you.. I seem to hop about a lot between skips, ie hop twice for each rotation, a bit a la 1980's aerobics. But I work up a good sweat, am working hard and am tired at the end so figure that a high stepping kick with a flick of the heel may not be so bad after all as I cannot just hop up and down on 2 feet.

Day 55: Beautiful Bali here we come

Am writing Day 55 blog only slightly ahead of midnight. Why am I up so late? Because I have spent a lot of time making my breakfast, lunch, dinner, 3 fruit snacks and egg whites for the journey tomorrow as there is no way that the airplane will be able to cater to my egg white requirements etc. So I am armed and ready to go.

Not sure if I will be able to do Kung Fu sit-ups tomorrow morning as won't have time to run to the park as well as do all my exercises and not panic about getting kids, suitcases etc in the car to Narita. Luckily I drive and drop off. Best deal in the world. Door to door in about an hour which makes the whole Narita saga very bearable.

Watched Soul Surfer this afternoon and as a result, despite having felt so leaden all day I just sailed through the exercises. Not a single thought of JFD on my mind. Was just happy that I could do my pushups (all of them) on my toes. The plank though remains another matter entirely. I am ashamed to say that I am only up to 20 seconds full plank, then 20 seconds leaning on right knee and 20 seconds leaning on left knee. But I will get there. It just takes me a lot longer than most people. Had planned to compensate for dweeb-like plank performance with 8MA, but as I have to get up at 5.30am (I am NOT an early riser by nature) I think I would benefit more from going to bed. If I don't do my exercises before I leave tomorrow I know I won't do them once I get to Bali.

So am signing off here an now.......

Day 54: Sluggish, langorous & leaden

Very, very, very sluggish today. Haven't slept well for 3 days from jet lag. Only 2-4 hours a night. Made up for it last night with a 12+ hour stint. However as a result I feel very slow and weak. Was about to leave all exercise until this afternoon but decided to watch Patrick's videos. And read his e-mail. That was enough to send me outside to skip. But was so sluggish that for the first time forgot to stretch before I skipped. Resulted in pain in my calf, but I finished. Skipping not that good. Lots of trips. Put it down to general lead-like feeling of all body parts.

Was thinking before the skipping that maybe it was better to go straight through and also do the exercises. However since I woke up at 11.20am, diddled while I read e-mails, watched videos, and then finally skipped,  I was really, really hungry. So just had my breakfast, and having a cup of coffee in the vain hope that will wake me up a bit and will then do the rest.

Shoulders are in pain, so a massage later today if I can get my act together.

Flying to Bali tomorrow morning with the kids, leaving my better half behind. May not be able to blog as I run around like a lunatic trying to get to the airport as my main commitment will be to get up super early to get the skipping and exercises done. I know myself well enough since starting PCP to know that I will NOT be exercising when I get to my destination.

Onwards and upwards and keep the groove.

Day 53: Indulgence #2

The intended indulgence: chocolate mousse

The experience: Lots of mental preparation. Chocolate mousse is one of my most favourite things in the world. And I haven't had it for more than a year. Many restaurants just don't have it on the menu. Thanks to a recommendation from Tracey the scene was set. La Gargote in Azabu Juban. Wow was it good. Fabulously relaxed atmosphere. Charismatic owner (who it turns out knows my husband). Great staff and really yummy food.... much of it PCP compliant. A French yakitori cum izakaya style place (Japanese pub style with skewers). So it was possible to have half a scallop, 2 small shrimp, a small piece of beef carpaccio, a sliver of foie gras. Also lots of veggies on the menu, as sides, starters and skewers (aubergine on skewers particularly good). So I was set. I was in heaven. Each dish was great. There were four of us which meant we could try a lot of things.

The actual indulgence: Complimentary small glass of champagne to start, sliver of foie gras, green beans (sauteed in butter and garlic), the c-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e m-o-u-s-s-e (which was everything that I thought it would be and much, much more). Unbelievably good. And it was just such a pleasure to be there with good friends in a lovely setting with such fabulous food. After the champagne I stuck to water.

Post indulgence: Not sure if it was the sliver of foie gras or the cream in the chocolate mousse (possibly even the chocolate). I was not feeling so hot afterwards. Slight sweat, major stomach cramps and then the after effects of the cramps. Now there is some background to this and not sure if that is the reason, or just that we are not used to these different types of food. I have been off all dairy products (excluding eggs) since last November. This has meant that I can no longer have Starbucks non-fat cafe latte's //(*_*)\\ which was a huge change in my life. I have had to switch to black coffee.  Hence not being able to have the milk in the PCP diet. But the aftereffects of my indulgence were very dramatic and not something I care to repeat soon.

I will definitely go back to the restaurant as it was truly good and if I was able to have a dessert would have their delicious tart tartin--lots of apple and only a small sliver of pastry (something to look forward to).

Thoughts: Are these indulgences to show us that our bodies don't need/want what we crave? That they can't handle them? This body definitely not good with the dairy.

Day 52: Very productive

Well, there is one thing that jet lag is good for..... if you can't sleep you do all the things you have been putting off for a long time! Went to sleep at midnight, woke up at 2.30am, couldn't get back to sleep, finished my book, and then decided I was too wide awake so I sorted through all my clothes. I have gone from a size XL to an M. Tried on all sorts of clothes and just laughed. They will be making their way out the front door today. Amazing how good it feels. So whilst I haven't lost that much in kilogrammes, there is a huge difference in how I look and the size that I am. My husband is still convinced I must have lost about 10kg since starting PCP. Now it is actually 4kg as I reweighed this morning post all the effects of long haul flights. It is very cathartic to throw out clothes that remind you of what you used to be. I have enough better fitting clothes that I can now wear without feeling self conscious. I also have clothes I have been "saving" for the past 10 years and they also now fit. Oh happy days.

One negative thing about jet lag though, daughter #1 who slept 14 hours yesterday slept not at all last night so when I emerged from cleaning out my closet at 5.30am she bounced out of her room and since then has acted like she is on speed. Wow, I am exhausted listening to her.

Another good thing is that by 6.15am I had finished skipping and also had done my kung fu sit ups. Had to skip to a local park (with daughter waking up all the neighbours with her chatter) to find a monkey bar for the kung fu's. Wasn't able to do them in Scotland as there was absolutely nothing near me which would work. So this was a laugh. I liked Patrick's instructions that if you can't get your legs up just do a 90 degree lift. Ha! That's a joke, I couldn't even get to 90 degrees..... more like 85. But then again I have an incredibly weak core.... none at all it feels like. So keeping my legs up for one breath was totally out of the question.

7 x 9 incline pull ups. OMG!!!! that was hard. Nearly fell off the chairs on the last set of elevated tricep dips. It was good until then. Made myself some funky laminated flashcards to count the different sets. That was the only thing that helped me get through the incline pull ups.

Typhoon induced rain seems to have gone for good now and looks to be a lovely day in Tokyo. Wonderfully cool still.

I do want to know though when the cellulite on the back of my legs will disappear completely. That would be manna from heaven. That and the gut diminishing even more.  It is slowly reducing. Slowly being the operative word.

Have been thinking seriously about what my indulgence will be (now that Kevin has clarified via Patrick that hitting the bottle last week doesn't count). On Tracey's recommendation, my husband and I are off on a hot date tonight to a lovely restaurant in Azabu Juban. The indulgence will be chocolate mousse. I am so excited, but also a little afraid in case I get ill as that seems to be the norm with chocolate. No mention of indulgence having to be before sundown, so looking forward very much to my dinner. Thank you Tracey.

Day 51: New lease

Am totally whacked by jet lag. I hate travelling to Europe every year for this very reason. I try to avoid giving in to it, but it never works. Daughter #1 slept 14 hours, and daughter #2 close to that. No wonder I fell asleep again after I had breakfast, read some blogs and did some stuff. I think we must all have needed it. None of it was sleeping pill aided either. Usually we are all awake at 4am. Weird.

It was hard to jump up out of bed for the second time today to face skipping. But I put together a funky playlist, factoring in mainly time of song and whether I really, really liked it. Some of you are going to laugh, but it really is a revelation and makes the skipping much easier. Also my pace is up and my rhythm has improved. 3rd set a little less fluid as I was already exhausted by then. Until now I have relied on scenery.

Workout still to be done later this afternoon after a visit to the orthodontist and a major veggie shop. Took a peek and saw that there was no leg work today. Don't think that is going to make it any easier!

Day 50: Another milestone

Day 50 has a big emotional impact on me. I don't think I'm ready to race through the next 40 days if they pass as quickly as the last 50. I may not be ready to stop PCP..... or is that part of the plan?

Major jetlag. Nevertheless, I slept 11 hours last night so must have been very, very, very tired. Luckily my children are old enough to fend for themselves. Went to bed at midnight as was too tired to keep my eyes open and my 10-year old was still wide awake. So left her watching TV. They didn't sleep 11 hours unfortunately, but before you think that they went hungry and unnoticed for all of that time, we do have a helper who caters to their needs. So heaven for me. Woke up incredibly hungry as had slept so much in the afternoon too that I only had time during my waking hours for lunch plus one fruit snack and egg white. Breakfast was delicious. I really missed my Japanese brown rice. And steamed carrots. Hard to steam veggies if you don't have a metal sieve or steamer... may need to take one to Bali with me to avoid that problem again.

Not sure if it is the major jetlag, incredible change in humidity or the after effects of my foray into wine, but the workout today was hard, very hard. Sweated buckets, but tried not to drink. Gave up after the pistol squats as I nearly keeled over in a faint. Not sure how much "not too much" water is when you are sweating buckets. By the time I got to the V-sits I was actually thinking to myself that I actually liked them. Maybe it is because I absolutely detest the plank. I think my core is improving, but every time I do the plank I can only do it for a max of 20 seconds, and at the end only 10 seconds. Doesn't bode well now that we have to do 60 second planks. They make me cry every time.

One thing that helped my workout after listening to the Black Eyed Peas and Katy Perry for my skipping (which gratifyingly resulted in a major increase in reps) was to switch to Vivaldi. The boom-boom music was just not working fro me. Have never worked out to classical music in my life. What am I becoming? A totally different person!

Day 49: Back home in Tokyo

Flew back into Tokyo this morning from Glasgow via London. Heathrow a nightmare as always. Now see how difficult it is to coordinate date lines, food on the plane and exercise. Woke up early to skip and do ab work and then voila before you know it there is no time in the airline lounge to do the rest of your workout. So that was a washout. But I stayed true to PCP form combining stuff to eat from the plane as well as loads I veggies I had brought on board with me. But then I wondered if I should have religiously stayed on UK time re eating patterns or should I have adjusted. Anyway I decided to stick with a rigid UK timing.

On arrival at home, as always, cannot stay awake so went to bed. Will eat "breakfast" (?) at 8pm after doing my skipping, or perhaps go through to "kunch" and cut carbs. Ready to go back to bed soon after that. Was thinking about doing my skipping before I went to bed, however the raging winds and driving rain kind of put me off. Skipping in a typhoon... should be fun.

Just read Patrick's Day 49 e-mail and have already blown my indulgence, or at least that is the way that I am going to look at it. I reckon 5 glasses of wine (largish ones) equates to about 500-700 calories. I can already tell you the results of this indulgence. NOT GOOD. Don't do it. Maybe it was just my body reacting badly, but the way I reacted to the wine was definitely not worth it. I wonder if that means that I have converted into a 1-2 glasses of wine girl only.

I was quite excited to see my scales again. Hopped on after the flight and had a major emotional setback. I am down only 2kg from the start of PCP. After my sleep however, I was down another kilo. Made me feel marginally better. Must be doing something wrong though as the weight seems to be dropping off everyone else. It's strange because I feel a lot lighter and slimmer and even my tummy is starting to go down. Even tried my bikini on and was pleasantly surprised when my 10-year old daughter (my harshest critic) told me that I looked good and that she had never seen me in a bikini.

Day 47: A spectacular swan dive off a cliff

The good news: the rain stayed off (more or less) and we had a great BBQ. Loads of kids running around the garden.

The bad news: I had 5 glasses of white wine. Retribution however as I was very, very, very ill later on in the evening and it has taken me until now (about 6pm the following day) to feel anything that resembles a human being. My fault and I certainly paid for it. Wasn't abel to move, so no exercises yet today. May just have to do ab work and hope the nausea stays away.

Day 46: Rain and shine, out there puffing my puffs

No crying today, which is good. Despite hopping out of bed (a major improvement to having to stretch first before I even got out of bed yesterday) and going right at it, it did go a lot more smoothly today.

Too scared to watch Kevin's skipping video in case it demoralises me. Skipping still pants, and slow. Alternate legs 3x each to a tune of doodeedoodeedoo in my head. Got my iPod but no holder and my exercise shorts are too big to stick them into as they are starting to fall off. I can live with that though so tuneless singing will continue until I find m holder. Thigh muscles very sore in both pistol squats and squats, but at least I can do them (with some help for balance on the ps). Chest dips a joke. Have gone back to mm dips. As we all know though, these are not for mere women and I think I must prove that one. Dropped my whole body on the patio during one. For the first time ever I got through all the bicycle moves without having to wave my legs in the air to release the tension. But it hurts. Oh man it hurts, and that is good. On my way to achieving what I set out to do.

Trying to envisage what size I will be in 45 days yesterday was hard. Bikinis on sale for about 12 pounds sounded like a deal too good to miss. Especially when there is no way that I will ever find a bikini to fit in Tokyo. Will just have to see how it all pans out. They may never see the light of day. It was fun shopping though, and hoping.

BBQ today may be OK. It is spitting then sun. Glasgow can't make up its mind. May have to go to the chippy and get some fried Mars bars if it rains.

Day 45: Halfway!!

Wow, who would have thought that we are already halfway there. Yes, there have been tears and lots and lots of pain, but it doesn't feel like 45 whole days. The difference so far is amazing, not just in changing body shape and musculature, but also in how we think and move through life now.

Woke up this morning and thought, JFD the first thing in the morning skipping. Had to do some stretching in bed before I could even get out of bed. Then more stretching before the skipping. Interesting how sluggish I was, but did manage to warm up halfway through. Lots of stumbling. LOTS. Went straight into exercises due to time constraints later today, but again interesting that whilst I was moving a lot slower in my mind and also in body, my body was sweating a lot more than usual. Complete and utter muscle failure every day for the last 4 days. Everywhere. I hope that is a good thing.

Glasgow is looking at another beautiful day. Amazing. Hope that it lasts at least past tomorrow when we have a BBQ at Fraser's sisters house.

Well done fellow PCPers...... let's keep at it, and hope that those of us with injuries and still feeling sick get better very, very soon.

Day 44: It is a beautiful sunny day in Glasgow

What a surprise, a beautiful warm and sunny day in Uddingston near Glasgow today when it has been quite cool in the last week or so. Caught me off guard as I ended up doing my exercises in the blazing sun. Nothing like Tokyo, so I didn't feel too bad, but the naysayers all saying don't exercise between 12 and 3. Interesting how I still meet naysayers who surprise me by saying not to overdo it and think that PCP is all a bit fanatical and excessive. I would say that the way I feel (other than the pain) and how I look (much, much better) is testament to what I am doing on PCP and the food etc that I eat is actually healthy compared to what I see others around me eating.

Skipping for me has fallen off a cliff backwards. I have switched to stationary skipping in advance of my trip to Bali as I cannot foresee distance skipping there. I think I will have to find a shady tree to skip under. So there is an awful lot of stumbling. Am trying to skip faster, but with all my stumbling in the past 2 days have only managed to do 800-850 skips per 7 x 2 min session. Am more exhausted than I was before but not doing as much. But I am assuming that each stumble is still a jump, so not much I can do about it other than persevere.

Day 43: Need to keep this in mind

Skipping along the lanes in Scotland (start), a photo by peakconditionconny@yahoo.com on Flickr.

Not very motivated this morning Have been awake for 3 hours trying not to think of having to go skipping. Know that I need to go now, but so weak and wimpy may now need to eat first!

(40 minutes later).....
Then I read Patrick's e-mail and thought GREAT.... only 7 x 2 minutes = 14 minutes, 10 minutes less than I have been skipping, but then motivation fizzled out quickly as I stood up and nearly collapsed from weakness. So, now feeling thoroughly disappointed with myself. Missed my cue to burn more fat, realised that I should be slightly less fanatical and take life a bit more as it comes. Decided to have breakfast and for the first time was uninspired by my brown rice and veggies with a boiled egg. Even adding strawberry balsamic vinegar to my rice/veg concoction to give it more taste didn't help much. Looking forward to my snack now. Will exercise later this evening before dinner and just go with the flow today. Was so tired from 5 hours of shopping in Glasgow yesterday that my whole body hurt this morning more than it usually does.

Am a bit afraid that eating as much veg as I want will mean that I don't eat enough. Not sure if sticking to my previous quantities and then adding more if I am hungry is the way to go, or just reduce if that is what I think I am interpreting my body wants.

Day 42: Done and dusted for the day

Was hungry when I went to bed, so getting up and skipping before I ate was quite difficult. Lots of JFD's under my breath. Skipping in front of Scottish old age pensioners who just shake their head is quite difficult mentally. But I just stare at the ground or nod at them depending on how much of a lunatic I gauge them to be labelling me.

36 x 4 creeps yesterday left me nearly crying again. Having trouble with the bicycle ab work so when the legs give out I just sit there for the remainder with my legs in the air.

Shopping in Glasgow today. Will take the weighing scales.

Day 41: Bye bye countryside, hello Glasgow

Had a fabulous skip this morning whilst still up north in the Scottish highlands. Still achy and tired when I wake up so does take me a while to mentally make myself stretch and get out there. A bit of a bitter-sweet feeling as I am skipping along in the surprisingly warm weather (just for that hour mind you before it started to rain again) as we decamped back to urban Scotland this afternoon. The sound of the bees and wasps in the flowers along the road were very loud. The smell was just unbelievably fresh. Only a few cars... there had been tonnes on Sunday as people wended their way to church. Took some pics for Tracey of my route which I will put up on Flickr so that I can remind myself of the idyllic route I took for the past 4 days. Not sure how far I travel on my skips, but must be about a kilometre. I will really need to learn to skip in one place as some of the other destinations I will be going to this summer will not be conducive to skipping the distance.

Still need to do my exercises today, but psyching myself up for that a little later.

Dinner last night I cheated a bit, but very consciously. My 21-year old nephew cooked us all a beautiful roast dinner. Had a tad more roast lamb than my allotment, and since everyone else also took a generous helping I didn't have enough of the roasted vegetables to complete my dinner requirement. As I desperately wanted a roast potato, I added a half roast potato to my helping. Lovely conversation, a long session at the table and then fresh raspberries and strawberries. Because I added a bit of cream to my fruit, I left out my egg white. I also had 2 small glasses of red wine. It was one of the best dinners that I have ever had, and since I know that I will have to wait another year to see my nephew again, and even then he may not be in a position to cook for me, I ate my extra lamb, my half a roast potato and drank my 2 glasses of wine with the utmost joy. For me veering off the PCP path for that was done on my terms and sooooooo worth it, so there was absolutely no guilt whatsoever.

Busy few days coming up in Glasgow.

Day 40: Knackered

Went skipping first thing after I managed to psych myself that my body didn't really hurt as much as it did. Creeps last night had me in tears.

Sluggish is the only way to describe my skipping. But..... I finally managed to get through it. Felt endless. Then breakfast and a couple of cups of coffee as I couldn't move. Then exercises. Then lunch. I am now ready to finish my day and it is only 3pm. Am totally and utterly knackered. Not sure how I am going to get through the rest of the day.

Phrase of the day from hubbie: "I just can't believe the weather. Scottish summers are just crap." (putting it all into  context, we are sitting around in sweaters)

Day 39: Upset I will have to work out late tonight

Spent the day with the extended family which was lovely, but we are now coming up to our dinner appointment and I thought I could at least squeeze in my skipping. No chance. Since it takes me 20-25 minutes won't make it, so it will all have to come after dinner.

However, having read Patrick's Day 39 missive a bit worried about getting maximum fat burn as I have lots of fat, so tomorrow morning before I do anything I will be skipping away. I have to get my head around separating the skipping from the workout as I have been very adamant in my own mind that they must go together. But if that is how I will burn fat, then that is what I will do. I do find however that I am very, very stiff in the morning, but that may have a lot to do with the fact that I am doing all the skipping and workout in the evening or maybe I just need to get going and JFD. If I jig it around I might also get in some 8MA.

So the bad news... not yet done any of the Day 39 exercises yet and it will weigh over me whilst eating dinner out at a lovely country house hotel...... think I should just relax and enjoy it and then make this my last late night workout.

But the good news is that it is liberating skipping down Scottish country roads. Only met one tractor and 2 cars yesterday. Beautiful smell of the woods and the ferns and the honeysuckle growing wild. Bad thing is the midges.... little mosquito like things with a very painful bite. But we are at the foot of the Highlands, so it is light until 11pm and I will still get some of the same tonight. This was the first time the skipping wasn't mentally painful. Lots of stop starts, but the enjoyment of looking at the view made it all worth it. Not good at skipping with a camera Tracey, but will try to take some photos. Sad thing is we are only here 4 days before we go back to urban life in Scotland, but there are still lots of benefits.... the temperature being the main thing.

Day 38: continued

Why is it that I can do tricep dips elegantly, smoothly and well one day and then the next not at all?

Thank you for the tip on the pistol squats Inés... that worked a treat. Goodness knows which muscle groups I was working the way I was doing them!

The bicycle is beyond me. I get 15 good seconds and then I die. And as for the plank..... 10 seconds on my toes and then I can barely stay with it on my knees for the next 30.

The thing that keeps me going is all your comments as well as the way that I feel and look.

But I am starving each night at dinner and today again did a very bad thing. I had an extra 20-30g of protein when I ate an extra sausage. Maybe the trick is to stand up after I have finished eating my dinner, but I am with our family whom we came over to see so can't very well do that. Sheer bloody minded is what I am going to have to be and just tell myself NO! Watch this space. Other than that I have been religious about what I eat.

Day 38: Everything is slow

Feeling similar to others at the moment. Tired, hungry etc.

But, for the first time in many, many days now don't feel as listless. Waking up in the morning though my whole body hurts. My husband's helpful comment was "I thought that by now your body would have become used to all the exercises". I then had to explain that the lovely Patrick ramps up the exercises each week and that it is just getting harder and harder.

Pistol squats are a nightmare. Tricep dips are better. Push ups better.

Skipping is crap, crap, crap.

Good news is that it is finally Day 38... no longer need to be confused. Think I may need to write days in diary to alleviate confusion.

Day 37: Thought yesterday was Day 38!! Ha Ha losing my mind

So I am definitely losing my eyesight. I thought yesterday was day 38 and put that in my blog title (have just changed it to 36), which meant that I also did Day 38's exercises yesterday. No wonder it was so tough all of a sudden!!!!!

So now what do I do? I did Day 37 exercises today, and think I will just redo Day 38 exercises again tomorrow rather than try to do Day 36 to make up for not having done those ones. Oh the quandry.

In the meantime, am enjoying the cool Scottish air and late nights when it is still light to do everything. My husband joined me as I went around the block twice to do my skipping. Was a bit put off yesterday when one of the neighbours said "you need to go a wee bit faster than that". Thought I was doing quite well myself as round the block is a flat stretch, down a bit of a long slope, more flat and then quite a steep climb. He saw me during the steep climb.

And the good news is that the monster zit that appeared between my two nostrils is finally (but slowly) disappearing. The other good news is that my jeans nearly fell off my hips in the frozen section of Tesco. Will need to think about getting a new pair.

Bad news is that I sinned today. Had my dinner and was still starving. My husband and father in law had Chinese take-away and I couldn't help myself having some of their food. Nibbled, but them nibbled some more and then some more and then some more!

Feel sick now. Will not happen again. Feeling sick not worth it.

Day 36: Melted gummy bears

OK, I confess, I am good with things once how I have slowly figured out how they work, but hadn't realised that by bookmarking my Blog Dashboard I would have absolutely no clue which website I was supposed to go to if I wasn't using my own laptop. On the road and buying internet time my husband and I were surprised when the provider restricted us to one machine! I think we are definitely spoiled in Asia. So I may not have written a Day 37 blog but I did add a comment on to my Day 36 thread. So I haven't actually missed a day which is a big psychological thing for me.

I did miss that one day of exercises on Day 33 as I finally decided to listen to my body, but forced myself to do my ab workout.

On and forward. My whole body is till very, very achy. Not sure if it is residue of the flu-like symptoms, jet-lag, running around London all day yesterday with a lot of walking, not enough sleep from jet-lag or potentially all of the above. Was lying in bed wide awake at 2.15am this morning in agony. All my joints hurt, so I quietly ran a hot bath whilst the rest of the family slept (or at least I hope I didn't wake them up).  Piping hot bath, soaked for a bit and then did my stretching of my calves, hamstrings, neck, shoulders and arms in the bath whilst my muscles were hot. That helped a lot. And then a little later some White Flower Chinese oil on the really painful areas. Still sore, but will loosen up during the day. Will use the waiting area in the boarding lounge to further stretch.

And am keeping my exercises until this evening once we get to Scotland. Just looking at them makes them look BRUTAL!!!!!

Will let you know if my legs and abs and everything else looks and feels like a gummy bear left in the heat of a car in a Tokyo summer, or perhaps I might resemble the inside of a deep fried Mars bar, that famous Scottish delicacy!

Highlight of the day and month was the Take That concert at Wembley. Really good. Poor jet-lagged kids fell asleep though.

Day 34: 5.30am start!

In order to get all my exercises done before I head off to London I surprised myself by actually getting up at 5.30am to do my exercises. I didn't think that a long flight, dinner at the other end with friends and THEN skipping and working out would work. So yes, it was painful, yes my body was tight, but the really good news was that apart from the fact that the katanas nearly killed me I could actually do them. Also the dips worked (sort of). I mentally think to myself as I am going through it all that once the skipping and the creeps, jumps, squats or whatever they may be on that day are over then I am on the home run. It helps me to get through. Of course, it is by no means the easy part, it is just the mental part, as the planks nearly felled me.

I was quite stiff when I woke up so do quite a lot of stretching.

Amazing though that the people who walk their dogs at 6am do not seem to smile. In the afternoon everyone is much more friendly. Think I will stick to what works for me in future as much as possible which is warmer, softer body and a later start.

Skipping in Earls Court tomorrow... a treat, I think..........

Day33: Baby steps

One step at a time. I know I did a few more millimetres on the chest dip and may even have managed a whole cm, just can't tell exactly. So it goes, a little bit at a time.

Off to London for a few days tomorrow then wet and cold Scotland. That will be my biggest challenge yet. In the past leaving my home base has always derailed me. I am going to be fanatical about not veering off the exercise and food path. It will just be a bit more difficult in hotels and other people's homes.

Day 32: One foot off the path, but back on the track

I went off the path last night and I was very upset at myself. Was at a rugby charity event and if I had had time to eat before I would have been OK, I think. Lesson learnt. Not a wine issue. Had water in a wine glass all evening. But had been feeling dreadful anyway and a late lunch and all my snacks as necessary so thought I would be OK, but all of a sudden I was starving. Dinner wasn't served until 9pm. Was planning to just sit there and eat just a little bit, all PCP compliant. But I was really, really, really hungry.

Had too much protein. A bit if carb in the form of vichysoisse. And 3 whole asparagus spears! Strikes me again very strongly that people just do not eat enough vegetables as there doesn't ever seem to be any!! I was still very very hungry as the portions were too small so just couldn't stop myself eating the miniature pavlova. My punishment--other than the guilt and disappointment was a very sore tummy as I can't eat dairy due to intolerance.

Am 100% back on track today.

The good thing was that 1) it was for a very good cause, the children of Tohoku, 2) I feel better as All Black legend Stu Wilson was a brilliant speaker and I just laughed and laughed, and 3) I got quite a few comments on either how I was shrinking away or looked fabulous.

So I never lost the way, just was feeling dreadful enough to know that my body needed something but what was in front of me wasn't my choice.

On an up.

Day 31: Resorted to cycling hill

Feeling like I am getting the flu since yesterday so resorted to riding hills on my bicycle instead of skipping. Also first time I haven't been able to complete an exercise. The katana felled my half-way through. 4x25 leg lifts a huge step up and body certainly felt it. Had to do the plank on my knees, but despite feeling like death warmed over I felt that I was listening to my body rather than giving up. Was ready to give up half way through the leg lifts, but since I am determined to work on my abs especially hard, I just fixed on a corner in my mind and went for it, albeit it not at the fastest speed. Looking forward to a better day tomorrow.

Day 30: JFD

Heat stroke, dizziness, pain, burn, insane for skipping outside at noon in 33+ degree heat, but what kept me going was three little letters, placed in my head by Patrick ====> JFD

The man sitting in the shade resting whilst I was giggling to myself must have thought I was a complete lunatic. He did tell me though that I made it look so easy and that it looked like I was cooling myself down. HA!

Plan for tomorrow. See how hot it will be at 6am. Last day of school for the kids so only half day and no lunch required so will try an early morning session.

Day 29: Sweat baby sweat

Got through my exercises by thinking about what I would write about on my blog. None of the words were suitable.

Today I was seriously ready to not do my exercises. Have been working at the school my children go to and this no-airconditioning thing  in 33 degrees of heat means I was "glowing" all day. Sweating profusely is a better way to put it. Was absolutely exhausted by about noon.

I was also going to have a glass of red wine to celebrate a personal achievement (non-PCP).

I did none of the above, because:

1) JFD
2) it was after sundown

When I started this programme I told myself in addition to doing the exercises all day, I would also blog every day to keep my own momentum. Am feeling better post exercise as it means I have achieved that aim for today.

Am however being sorely tested by no aircon in recent days and spending the whole day wet and dripping. Does that mean I am burning more fat? This constant living in a sauna?

Just reread my blog from yesterday and it sounds exactly the same, just different words.

Day 28: Rivers of sweat

Had a very hot and sweaty day moving stuff around for people. So whilst it is an only skip day, seemed like I was working out all day. Very concerned with change in body odour. Regular deoderant just not working. Is this normal? Was completely knackered by the time I got home at 6pm and really, really wanted to not skip. Kids decided I had to though so they came with me. They did 500+ to my 1200. We were all hot and sweaty together for that, but it helped a lot to have the moral support. Up and down my little side street is equal to 300 skips, so easy to set my little targets.

Was very, very, very tempted to have a glass of red wine, and announced I would be having one. Think however I will just desist. Not had a chance to watch the videos for this week yet. A pleasure for tomorrow.

Day 27: Sleepless in Tokyo

Put off exercising all day as was so intimidated. Managed to get out at 10pm. 1,200 skips painful as the first  100 had me stumbling about every other jump. But the actual exercises were not as bad as I had anticipated. The double katana did not make me cry, but I think I killed a lamp in the corner of the room with my glare. V-sits so not wonderful, but am gritting my teeth as I want to desperately get rid of the tummy which was a gift from 2 C-sections.

It continues to be hard going in the humidity, but at least it wasn't raining when I was running around the streets skipping. Running slowly.

Very much liking my food and it has become second nature to weigh it all out. Still shocked by how little 70g of protein is.

One lesson learned today. If you exercise late, it stimulates too much. Went to bed 30 minutes after I had finished total workout and am now sitting here at 4am blogging as I can't sleep. Body very relaxed, but mind going a million miles an hour. Contrary to what a lot of other members have been putting in our e-mail trail, I have never slept as well as I have since starting PCP.

I am broken

I am not sure which was worse.. the plank or the creeps. Either way they made me break down and cry. I am a broken woman. It is the first time that anything PCP has made me cry.

Day 26: Wow, that was unexpected!!!

I decided to buy a whole bottle of my favourite red wine. If I was going to drink wine, then why not my favourite. I wanted to savour it. Will throw the rest away. Still cheaper than wine in a nice restaurant.

Lovely breeze on the patio, contemplating why one olive tree is thriving and the other not, chilling after a hard workout and a well needed shower. It was just delightful to have my first glass of wine. Really nice.

Towards the end of the second glass it didn't taste quite as nice. But still nice to sit on the bench in the garden contemplating how good life was.

Went in for dinner..... and then started feeling lazy.

I was asleep on the sofa before 9pm. Mmmmmmm not good. Was planning movie night with hubbie and had to go to bed at 9.05pm, at the same time as the children!!!!!!

Slept for 11 hours and couldn't move when I woke up. My whole body was in agony. Am wondering now whether Patrick timed indulgence with new execrcises so we would think that the effect was worse! My waist through to my lower back and pelvis is in agony. Can only think that hopping and V sit are the culprits, not my 2 glasses of red wine. They are just responsible for getting me to bed at 9pm on a Saturday night.

And now my bras are too big.

Day 25: Can't eyeball grammes!

We had our year end party with the parents and teachers last night for the children's school. A great night, really fun. Had my water in my wine glass as is the norm for me now. Makes me feel better than having water in a water glass. And everyone around me was so trollied they didn't realise it was water that I was drinking!

But, I am not good at eyeballing grammes. Interesting reading Patrick's e-mail today...... I have been fanatic about grammes and weighing and taking my scales out with me. But I didn't have them last night. The food selection was fantastic actually. Amongst lots of other things they had a huge tray of roasted veggies and also some chicken. So that is what I focused on. But it was so good and I thought I hadn't had enough veggies the first round as it was one of those small plates that I went back for a second round of veggies and a bit more chicken. But, I think I may have taken too much chicken. Also not sure if it was too much veg. However, I then figured I needed to relax and let up on myself a little bit as opposed to being spastic about it. It wasn't as if I was eating non PCP complaint food. Also I started to eat at about 7.15pm and didn't leave the venue until 1am (husband's glass miraculously kept filling itself for about 3 hours as I was trying to go home), so had quite a bit of time to burn it off..... no fruit though which is weird in Japan as they always serve fruit. Declined the yummy looking chocolate mousse.

Will be working out later this evening as it is too hot at the moment.

Was very excited to read Patrick's e-mail. Am "planning" my indulgence. With great pleasure I am going to buy one of those little bottles of red wine. I will go to a proper wine shop, not my local Japanese supermarket. And I will sit on my patio. Have already told my husband that I am indulging today and that it is not a derailing. Had many fabulous comments last night about the changes already, and am very psyched about continuing to get better and better and better.

I had a giggling fit whilst reading this week's question thread and Peter's comments. The whole family wanted to know why I was laughing, but it wasn't something that could be repeated to a 9 and 10 year old (even though the 10 year old just had her sex education source this week).