Day 61 cont: Roadblock

This is a very bumpy journey for me and today I hit a huge roadblock. Been building up with feeling under the weather, but today I just couldn't get through the exercises. Did the skipping with great difficulty and decided to listen to my body and skipped straight through to the ab work. That nearly cost me my sanity.

I am ashamed of myself, I feel like I am weak and incapable. I am disappointed in myself. And also frustrated.

Holiday eating out not working for me. Having trouble gauging volumes and think I may be erring somewhere. So the decision I have made is that the scales will just have to go with me and also if I have to I will take my own food.

Day 61: No action

Not feeling well at all. Felt dreadful yesterday, but woke up feeling worse. Had breakfast out and since they didn't have veg decided I would have my fruit and then veg later. Feel so sick I can't face veg now so will try and settle stomach and feeling of malaise with a high veg content lunch. Exercise will have to wait until late afternoon when it is less sunny (quite cool today) and also to see if there is any improvement.

I know what I need to do, but I can't do it.

Day 60: Jelly legs & arms, nausea, near vomit, tears

Day 60 and two thirds of the way through, today was the first day that truly nearly defeated me. Squats were OK, but then after the pistol squats and creep my legs became pure jelly. By the time I got through the shoulder exercises the arms were jelly. Midway through came the nausea and then the desire to throw up. Nearly gave in but decided to listen to that voice which is Patrick sitting on my shoulder and kept on going (with great difficulty). Interesting that someone whom I have never met can have a strong influence on me and can sit there on my shoulder or hover in midair, all by virtue of sending me a daily e-mail. By comparison the ab work was easy.

Remain exhausted, but proud of myself that I have made it to Day 60. Am determined to power through not only the next 30 days, but hope that this is an indication of what I will continue to be doing even after I have finished the 90 days.

It is a time of facing myself, pushing myself and also of discovering myself.

Day 59: Exhausted

Everywhere in my body hurts. I am exhausted. Didn't think the exercises had stepped up that much, but am dragging myself through the day.

Skipping today sucked. Leaden lags. Exhaustion cut number of jumps by 20%. Man oh man oh man is it frustrating to not even be able to do 10 jumps consecutively. And that was good. I stumbled on average every 2 jumps. But I did feel proud of myself that whilst it was all a pile of doodoo I kept on going. Not jumping also makes you sweat.

I would like to think that it was nothing to do with my giving in to temptation and having a millefeuile yesterday. Believe it or not I do not have a sweet tooth, but above chocolate mousse I love millefeuile and you can't get them in Japan the way I love... only Holland (and now Bali!). So for the first time in 3 years of seeing one, I lost all discretion.

This afternoon is another afternoon of exercises. Tomorrow is another day of skipping. Since it is Saturday I think I will dispense with first thing in the morning tomorrow to see if a) that is any better, b) I think I need a break from getting up before everyone else.

Day 58: It is what it is

Still on the skipping band wagon. Have been playing around with best way to skip for me. Am ultra impressed by all the rotations everyone is doing and feeling lacking. But I tried this morning to do an imitation of Rocky. And stumbled at every single jump. For a lot of jumps. So I went back to what I find works for me. OK, so I only managed 62-63 skips a minute. But I grit my teeth and I keep going. Also if I managed to do 1,000, then I hop 2,000 due to my weird manner of hopping twice for each loop. Tried to do it once and fell over. Plus, if I stop I lose my groove. I can keep on going, pretty hard (for me), as long as I don't stop. Had a drink after 11 minutes which was a mistake. But I reckon that it is what it is, and it is the best I can do.

Am liking the changes to my body. My new cotton trousers from Scotland fell off me today. Bit embarrassing as I was walking down the rod at the time. Think I might be down a size since then. Will update photos in the next few days.

Not liking the extra sets. Think my teeth may have cracked in the process. My arms fell off last night.

Maybe if I paint a sixpack onto my stomach that will inspire me.

Day 57: Skipping was GREAT today

OK, not without any hiccups but much, much better than up to now and the very first time that I have actually enjoyed skipping. Straight through for 16 minutes... on a daily loop of:

Reach Out (Take That)
Hot & Cold (Katy Perry)
I Kissed a Girl (Katy Perry)
I Got a Feeling (Blackeyed Peas)
and then a bit of Walking on Sunshine (Katrina and the Waves)

Not yet done my exercises but will do them after dinner.

Bit technically challenged here so not been able to post any comments on other blogs. May have to move my laptop around the garden to get a better connection. Plan for tomorrow as another with that as my challenge.

Day 56: Paradise

Arrived in Paradise last night and woke up in the wee hours of the morning to the most torrential rain. Thought to myself, this is Bali, it will stop soon. At 8am got soaked when I had to run to the breakfast pavilion, but manna from heaven at 9.30am despite our conviction that it was never going to stop the sky lightened up and there was some indication the sun would actually be seen today. Kids went off to horse camp, and my friend and I did a huge shop at the local supermarket for water, veggies and fruit. And coffee. Beer for the boys. Some treats for the kids. And an electric zapper tennis racket to fry the mozzies (apologies to any mozzie lovers).

I was over the moon yesterday when I realised that if worst came to the worst I could have gado gado and chicken satay at every meal that I eat out if I can't find anything else on the menu. In fact, I may take advantage of that bonus and not bother to cook for myself other than the veggies for breakfast.... not a lot of veggies on the menu other than fried tomato and mushrooms to go with the sausage and diced potato which I will not be having.

Had a millisecond of a waver last night when my friend asked was I really not drinking at all, but my last foray into alcohol land was really not good, so desisted and happily will continue to sip my water. I tried a Perrier with lime the other day and didn't really like it strangely. Part of a metabolic type testing diet that I have been on since the start of this year means that I can't have any citrus. Perhaps there is a reason that I didn't like the lime because my body doesn't like it. Maybe I am imagining things, but I feel dreadful when I have things on the list that I am not supposed to have (they are all PCP compliant and therefore have been adding in a few things for variety), so in many weird and wonderful ways am (finally) beginning to listen to my body. One of the things my body does not seem to like though is flying. Felt ill again on this flight (only 7 hours) which is weird as I felt sick both to and from Scotland.

I was very, very, very happy to discover it was Tuesday and I didn't have to do any exercises, just skip. Am still very tired from yesterday's workout.  Both legs and arms. Ready to go tomorrow (I think) after discovering that the improvement in the view (lovely Balinese garden view) whilst I skip and the tunes on my iPod are great to groove to. Finally realised why I don't do as many skips as some of you.. I seem to hop about a lot between skips, ie hop twice for each rotation, a bit a la 1980's aerobics. But I work up a good sweat, am working hard and am tired at the end so figure that a high stepping kick with a flick of the heel may not be so bad after all as I cannot just hop up and down on 2 feet.

Day 55: Beautiful Bali here we come

Am writing Day 55 blog only slightly ahead of midnight. Why am I up so late? Because I have spent a lot of time making my breakfast, lunch, dinner, 3 fruit snacks and egg whites for the journey tomorrow as there is no way that the airplane will be able to cater to my egg white requirements etc. So I am armed and ready to go.

Not sure if I will be able to do Kung Fu sit-ups tomorrow morning as won't have time to run to the park as well as do all my exercises and not panic about getting kids, suitcases etc in the car to Narita. Luckily I drive and drop off. Best deal in the world. Door to door in about an hour which makes the whole Narita saga very bearable.

Watched Soul Surfer this afternoon and as a result, despite having felt so leaden all day I just sailed through the exercises. Not a single thought of JFD on my mind. Was just happy that I could do my pushups (all of them) on my toes. The plank though remains another matter entirely. I am ashamed to say that I am only up to 20 seconds full plank, then 20 seconds leaning on right knee and 20 seconds leaning on left knee. But I will get there. It just takes me a lot longer than most people. Had planned to compensate for dweeb-like plank performance with 8MA, but as I have to get up at 5.30am (I am NOT an early riser by nature) I think I would benefit more from going to bed. If I don't do my exercises before I leave tomorrow I know I won't do them once I get to Bali.

So am signing off here an now.......

Day 54: Sluggish, langorous & leaden

Very, very, very sluggish today. Haven't slept well for 3 days from jet lag. Only 2-4 hours a night. Made up for it last night with a 12+ hour stint. However as a result I feel very slow and weak. Was about to leave all exercise until this afternoon but decided to watch Patrick's videos. And read his e-mail. That was enough to send me outside to skip. But was so sluggish that for the first time forgot to stretch before I skipped. Resulted in pain in my calf, but I finished. Skipping not that good. Lots of trips. Put it down to general lead-like feeling of all body parts.

Was thinking before the skipping that maybe it was better to go straight through and also do the exercises. However since I woke up at 11.20am, diddled while I read e-mails, watched videos, and then finally skipped,  I was really, really hungry. So just had my breakfast, and having a cup of coffee in the vain hope that will wake me up a bit and will then do the rest.

Shoulders are in pain, so a massage later today if I can get my act together.

Flying to Bali tomorrow morning with the kids, leaving my better half behind. May not be able to blog as I run around like a lunatic trying to get to the airport as my main commitment will be to get up super early to get the skipping and exercises done. I know myself well enough since starting PCP to know that I will NOT be exercising when I get to my destination.

Onwards and upwards and keep the groove.

Day 53: Indulgence #2

The intended indulgence: chocolate mousse

The experience: Lots of mental preparation. Chocolate mousse is one of my most favourite things in the world. And I haven't had it for more than a year. Many restaurants just don't have it on the menu. Thanks to a recommendation from Tracey the scene was set. La Gargote in Azabu Juban. Wow was it good. Fabulously relaxed atmosphere. Charismatic owner (who it turns out knows my husband). Great staff and really yummy food.... much of it PCP compliant. A French yakitori cum izakaya style place (Japanese pub style with skewers). So it was possible to have half a scallop, 2 small shrimp, a small piece of beef carpaccio, a sliver of foie gras. Also lots of veggies on the menu, as sides, starters and skewers (aubergine on skewers particularly good). So I was set. I was in heaven. Each dish was great. There were four of us which meant we could try a lot of things.

The actual indulgence: Complimentary small glass of champagne to start, sliver of foie gras, green beans (sauteed in butter and garlic), the c-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e m-o-u-s-s-e (which was everything that I thought it would be and much, much more). Unbelievably good. And it was just such a pleasure to be there with good friends in a lovely setting with such fabulous food. After the champagne I stuck to water.

Post indulgence: Not sure if it was the sliver of foie gras or the cream in the chocolate mousse (possibly even the chocolate). I was not feeling so hot afterwards. Slight sweat, major stomach cramps and then the after effects of the cramps. Now there is some background to this and not sure if that is the reason, or just that we are not used to these different types of food. I have been off all dairy products (excluding eggs) since last November. This has meant that I can no longer have Starbucks non-fat cafe latte's //(*_*)\\ which was a huge change in my life. I have had to switch to black coffee.  Hence not being able to have the milk in the PCP diet. But the aftereffects of my indulgence were very dramatic and not something I care to repeat soon.

I will definitely go back to the restaurant as it was truly good and if I was able to have a dessert would have their delicious tart tartin--lots of apple and only a small sliver of pastry (something to look forward to).

Thoughts: Are these indulgences to show us that our bodies don't need/want what we crave? That they can't handle them? This body definitely not good with the dairy.

Day 52: Very productive

Well, there is one thing that jet lag is good for..... if you can't sleep you do all the things you have been putting off for a long time! Went to sleep at midnight, woke up at 2.30am, couldn't get back to sleep, finished my book, and then decided I was too wide awake so I sorted through all my clothes. I have gone from a size XL to an M. Tried on all sorts of clothes and just laughed. They will be making their way out the front door today. Amazing how good it feels. So whilst I haven't lost that much in kilogrammes, there is a huge difference in how I look and the size that I am. My husband is still convinced I must have lost about 10kg since starting PCP. Now it is actually 4kg as I reweighed this morning post all the effects of long haul flights. It is very cathartic to throw out clothes that remind you of what you used to be. I have enough better fitting clothes that I can now wear without feeling self conscious. I also have clothes I have been "saving" for the past 10 years and they also now fit. Oh happy days.

One negative thing about jet lag though, daughter #1 who slept 14 hours yesterday slept not at all last night so when I emerged from cleaning out my closet at 5.30am she bounced out of her room and since then has acted like she is on speed. Wow, I am exhausted listening to her.

Another good thing is that by 6.15am I had finished skipping and also had done my kung fu sit ups. Had to skip to a local park (with daughter waking up all the neighbours with her chatter) to find a monkey bar for the kung fu's. Wasn't able to do them in Scotland as there was absolutely nothing near me which would work. So this was a laugh. I liked Patrick's instructions that if you can't get your legs up just do a 90 degree lift. Ha! That's a joke, I couldn't even get to 90 degrees..... more like 85. But then again I have an incredibly weak core.... none at all it feels like. So keeping my legs up for one breath was totally out of the question.

7 x 9 incline pull ups. OMG!!!! that was hard. Nearly fell off the chairs on the last set of elevated tricep dips. It was good until then. Made myself some funky laminated flashcards to count the different sets. That was the only thing that helped me get through the incline pull ups.

Typhoon induced rain seems to have gone for good now and looks to be a lovely day in Tokyo. Wonderfully cool still.

I do want to know though when the cellulite on the back of my legs will disappear completely. That would be manna from heaven. That and the gut diminishing even more.  It is slowly reducing. Slowly being the operative word.

Have been thinking seriously about what my indulgence will be (now that Kevin has clarified via Patrick that hitting the bottle last week doesn't count). On Tracey's recommendation, my husband and I are off on a hot date tonight to a lovely restaurant in Azabu Juban. The indulgence will be chocolate mousse. I am so excited, but also a little afraid in case I get ill as that seems to be the norm with chocolate. No mention of indulgence having to be before sundown, so looking forward very much to my dinner. Thank you Tracey.

Day 51: New lease

Am totally whacked by jet lag. I hate travelling to Europe every year for this very reason. I try to avoid giving in to it, but it never works. Daughter #1 slept 14 hours, and daughter #2 close to that. No wonder I fell asleep again after I had breakfast, read some blogs and did some stuff. I think we must all have needed it. None of it was sleeping pill aided either. Usually we are all awake at 4am. Weird.

It was hard to jump up out of bed for the second time today to face skipping. But I put together a funky playlist, factoring in mainly time of song and whether I really, really liked it. Some of you are going to laugh, but it really is a revelation and makes the skipping much easier. Also my pace is up and my rhythm has improved. 3rd set a little less fluid as I was already exhausted by then. Until now I have relied on scenery.

Workout still to be done later this afternoon after a visit to the orthodontist and a major veggie shop. Took a peek and saw that there was no leg work today. Don't think that is going to make it any easier!

Day 50: Another milestone

Day 50 has a big emotional impact on me. I don't think I'm ready to race through the next 40 days if they pass as quickly as the last 50. I may not be ready to stop PCP..... or is that part of the plan?

Major jetlag. Nevertheless, I slept 11 hours last night so must have been very, very, very tired. Luckily my children are old enough to fend for themselves. Went to bed at midnight as was too tired to keep my eyes open and my 10-year old was still wide awake. So left her watching TV. They didn't sleep 11 hours unfortunately, but before you think that they went hungry and unnoticed for all of that time, we do have a helper who caters to their needs. So heaven for me. Woke up incredibly hungry as had slept so much in the afternoon too that I only had time during my waking hours for lunch plus one fruit snack and egg white. Breakfast was delicious. I really missed my Japanese brown rice. And steamed carrots. Hard to steam veggies if you don't have a metal sieve or steamer... may need to take one to Bali with me to avoid that problem again.

Not sure if it is the major jetlag, incredible change in humidity or the after effects of my foray into wine, but the workout today was hard, very hard. Sweated buckets, but tried not to drink. Gave up after the pistol squats as I nearly keeled over in a faint. Not sure how much "not too much" water is when you are sweating buckets. By the time I got to the V-sits I was actually thinking to myself that I actually liked them. Maybe it is because I absolutely detest the plank. I think my core is improving, but every time I do the plank I can only do it for a max of 20 seconds, and at the end only 10 seconds. Doesn't bode well now that we have to do 60 second planks. They make me cry every time.

One thing that helped my workout after listening to the Black Eyed Peas and Katy Perry for my skipping (which gratifyingly resulted in a major increase in reps) was to switch to Vivaldi. The boom-boom music was just not working fro me. Have never worked out to classical music in my life. What am I becoming? A totally different person!

Day 49: Back home in Tokyo

Flew back into Tokyo this morning from Glasgow via London. Heathrow a nightmare as always. Now see how difficult it is to coordinate date lines, food on the plane and exercise. Woke up early to skip and do ab work and then voila before you know it there is no time in the airline lounge to do the rest of your workout. So that was a washout. But I stayed true to PCP form combining stuff to eat from the plane as well as loads I veggies I had brought on board with me. But then I wondered if I should have religiously stayed on UK time re eating patterns or should I have adjusted. Anyway I decided to stick with a rigid UK timing.

On arrival at home, as always, cannot stay awake so went to bed. Will eat "breakfast" (?) at 8pm after doing my skipping, or perhaps go through to "kunch" and cut carbs. Ready to go back to bed soon after that. Was thinking about doing my skipping before I went to bed, however the raging winds and driving rain kind of put me off. Skipping in a typhoon... should be fun.

Just read Patrick's Day 49 e-mail and have already blown my indulgence, or at least that is the way that I am going to look at it. I reckon 5 glasses of wine (largish ones) equates to about 500-700 calories. I can already tell you the results of this indulgence. NOT GOOD. Don't do it. Maybe it was just my body reacting badly, but the way I reacted to the wine was definitely not worth it. I wonder if that means that I have converted into a 1-2 glasses of wine girl only.

I was quite excited to see my scales again. Hopped on after the flight and had a major emotional setback. I am down only 2kg from the start of PCP. After my sleep however, I was down another kilo. Made me feel marginally better. Must be doing something wrong though as the weight seems to be dropping off everyone else. It's strange because I feel a lot lighter and slimmer and even my tummy is starting to go down. Even tried my bikini on and was pleasantly surprised when my 10-year old daughter (my harshest critic) told me that I looked good and that she had never seen me in a bikini.

Day 47: A spectacular swan dive off a cliff

The good news: the rain stayed off (more or less) and we had a great BBQ. Loads of kids running around the garden.

The bad news: I had 5 glasses of white wine. Retribution however as I was very, very, very ill later on in the evening and it has taken me until now (about 6pm the following day) to feel anything that resembles a human being. My fault and I certainly paid for it. Wasn't abel to move, so no exercises yet today. May just have to do ab work and hope the nausea stays away.

Day 46: Rain and shine, out there puffing my puffs

No crying today, which is good. Despite hopping out of bed (a major improvement to having to stretch first before I even got out of bed yesterday) and going right at it, it did go a lot more smoothly today.

Too scared to watch Kevin's skipping video in case it demoralises me. Skipping still pants, and slow. Alternate legs 3x each to a tune of doodeedoodeedoo in my head. Got my iPod but no holder and my exercise shorts are too big to stick them into as they are starting to fall off. I can live with that though so tuneless singing will continue until I find m holder. Thigh muscles very sore in both pistol squats and squats, but at least I can do them (with some help for balance on the ps). Chest dips a joke. Have gone back to mm dips. As we all know though, these are not for mere women and I think I must prove that one. Dropped my whole body on the patio during one. For the first time ever I got through all the bicycle moves without having to wave my legs in the air to release the tension. But it hurts. Oh man it hurts, and that is good. On my way to achieving what I set out to do.

Trying to envisage what size I will be in 45 days yesterday was hard. Bikinis on sale for about 12 pounds sounded like a deal too good to miss. Especially when there is no way that I will ever find a bikini to fit in Tokyo. Will just have to see how it all pans out. They may never see the light of day. It was fun shopping though, and hoping.

BBQ today may be OK. It is spitting then sun. Glasgow can't make up its mind. May have to go to the chippy and get some fried Mars bars if it rains.

Day 45: Halfway!!

Wow, who would have thought that we are already halfway there. Yes, there have been tears and lots and lots of pain, but it doesn't feel like 45 whole days. The difference so far is amazing, not just in changing body shape and musculature, but also in how we think and move through life now.

Woke up this morning and thought, JFD the first thing in the morning skipping. Had to do some stretching in bed before I could even get out of bed. Then more stretching before the skipping. Interesting how sluggish I was, but did manage to warm up halfway through. Lots of stumbling. LOTS. Went straight into exercises due to time constraints later today, but again interesting that whilst I was moving a lot slower in my mind and also in body, my body was sweating a lot more than usual. Complete and utter muscle failure every day for the last 4 days. Everywhere. I hope that is a good thing.

Glasgow is looking at another beautiful day. Amazing. Hope that it lasts at least past tomorrow when we have a BBQ at Fraser's sisters house.

Well done fellow PCPers...... let's keep at it, and hope that those of us with injuries and still feeling sick get better very, very soon.

Day 44: It is a beautiful sunny day in Glasgow

What a surprise, a beautiful warm and sunny day in Uddingston near Glasgow today when it has been quite cool in the last week or so. Caught me off guard as I ended up doing my exercises in the blazing sun. Nothing like Tokyo, so I didn't feel too bad, but the naysayers all saying don't exercise between 12 and 3. Interesting how I still meet naysayers who surprise me by saying not to overdo it and think that PCP is all a bit fanatical and excessive. I would say that the way I feel (other than the pain) and how I look (much, much better) is testament to what I am doing on PCP and the food etc that I eat is actually healthy compared to what I see others around me eating.

Skipping for me has fallen off a cliff backwards. I have switched to stationary skipping in advance of my trip to Bali as I cannot foresee distance skipping there. I think I will have to find a shady tree to skip under. So there is an awful lot of stumbling. Am trying to skip faster, but with all my stumbling in the past 2 days have only managed to do 800-850 skips per 7 x 2 min session. Am more exhausted than I was before but not doing as much. But I am assuming that each stumble is still a jump, so not much I can do about it other than persevere.

Day 43: Need to keep this in mind

Skipping along the lanes in Scotland (start), a photo by peakconditionconny@yahoo.com on Flickr.

Not very motivated this morning Have been awake for 3 hours trying not to think of having to go skipping. Know that I need to go now, but so weak and wimpy may now need to eat first!

(40 minutes later).....
Then I read Patrick's e-mail and thought GREAT.... only 7 x 2 minutes = 14 minutes, 10 minutes less than I have been skipping, but then motivation fizzled out quickly as I stood up and nearly collapsed from weakness. So, now feeling thoroughly disappointed with myself. Missed my cue to burn more fat, realised that I should be slightly less fanatical and take life a bit more as it comes. Decided to have breakfast and for the first time was uninspired by my brown rice and veggies with a boiled egg. Even adding strawberry balsamic vinegar to my rice/veg concoction to give it more taste didn't help much. Looking forward to my snack now. Will exercise later this evening before dinner and just go with the flow today. Was so tired from 5 hours of shopping in Glasgow yesterday that my whole body hurt this morning more than it usually does.

Am a bit afraid that eating as much veg as I want will mean that I don't eat enough. Not sure if sticking to my previous quantities and then adding more if I am hungry is the way to go, or just reduce if that is what I think I am interpreting my body wants.

Day 42: Done and dusted for the day

Was hungry when I went to bed, so getting up and skipping before I ate was quite difficult. Lots of JFD's under my breath. Skipping in front of Scottish old age pensioners who just shake their head is quite difficult mentally. But I just stare at the ground or nod at them depending on how much of a lunatic I gauge them to be labelling me.

36 x 4 creeps yesterday left me nearly crying again. Having trouble with the bicycle ab work so when the legs give out I just sit there for the remainder with my legs in the air.

Shopping in Glasgow today. Will take the weighing scales.

Day 41: Bye bye countryside, hello Glasgow

Had a fabulous skip this morning whilst still up north in the Scottish highlands. Still achy and tired when I wake up so does take me a while to mentally make myself stretch and get out there. A bit of a bitter-sweet feeling as I am skipping along in the surprisingly warm weather (just for that hour mind you before it started to rain again) as we decamped back to urban Scotland this afternoon. The sound of the bees and wasps in the flowers along the road were very loud. The smell was just unbelievably fresh. Only a few cars... there had been tonnes on Sunday as people wended their way to church. Took some pics for Tracey of my route which I will put up on Flickr so that I can remind myself of the idyllic route I took for the past 4 days. Not sure how far I travel on my skips, but must be about a kilometre. I will really need to learn to skip in one place as some of the other destinations I will be going to this summer will not be conducive to skipping the distance.

Still need to do my exercises today, but psyching myself up for that a little later.

Dinner last night I cheated a bit, but very consciously. My 21-year old nephew cooked us all a beautiful roast dinner. Had a tad more roast lamb than my allotment, and since everyone else also took a generous helping I didn't have enough of the roasted vegetables to complete my dinner requirement. As I desperately wanted a roast potato, I added a half roast potato to my helping. Lovely conversation, a long session at the table and then fresh raspberries and strawberries. Because I added a bit of cream to my fruit, I left out my egg white. I also had 2 small glasses of red wine. It was one of the best dinners that I have ever had, and since I know that I will have to wait another year to see my nephew again, and even then he may not be in a position to cook for me, I ate my extra lamb, my half a roast potato and drank my 2 glasses of wine with the utmost joy. For me veering off the PCP path for that was done on my terms and sooooooo worth it, so there was absolutely no guilt whatsoever.

Busy few days coming up in Glasgow.

Day 40: Knackered

Went skipping first thing after I managed to psych myself that my body didn't really hurt as much as it did. Creeps last night had me in tears.

Sluggish is the only way to describe my skipping. But..... I finally managed to get through it. Felt endless. Then breakfast and a couple of cups of coffee as I couldn't move. Then exercises. Then lunch. I am now ready to finish my day and it is only 3pm. Am totally and utterly knackered. Not sure how I am going to get through the rest of the day.

Phrase of the day from hubbie: "I just can't believe the weather. Scottish summers are just crap." (putting it all into  context, we are sitting around in sweaters)

Day 39: Upset I will have to work out late tonight

Spent the day with the extended family which was lovely, but we are now coming up to our dinner appointment and I thought I could at least squeeze in my skipping. No chance. Since it takes me 20-25 minutes won't make it, so it will all have to come after dinner.

However, having read Patrick's Day 39 missive a bit worried about getting maximum fat burn as I have lots of fat, so tomorrow morning before I do anything I will be skipping away. I have to get my head around separating the skipping from the workout as I have been very adamant in my own mind that they must go together. But if that is how I will burn fat, then that is what I will do. I do find however that I am very, very stiff in the morning, but that may have a lot to do with the fact that I am doing all the skipping and workout in the evening or maybe I just need to get going and JFD. If I jig it around I might also get in some 8MA.

So the bad news... not yet done any of the Day 39 exercises yet and it will weigh over me whilst eating dinner out at a lovely country house hotel...... think I should just relax and enjoy it and then make this my last late night workout.

But the good news is that it is liberating skipping down Scottish country roads. Only met one tractor and 2 cars yesterday. Beautiful smell of the woods and the ferns and the honeysuckle growing wild. Bad thing is the midges.... little mosquito like things with a very painful bite. But we are at the foot of the Highlands, so it is light until 11pm and I will still get some of the same tonight. This was the first time the skipping wasn't mentally painful. Lots of stop starts, but the enjoyment of looking at the view made it all worth it. Not good at skipping with a camera Tracey, but will try to take some photos. Sad thing is we are only here 4 days before we go back to urban life in Scotland, but there are still lots of benefits.... the temperature being the main thing.

Day 38: continued

Why is it that I can do tricep dips elegantly, smoothly and well one day and then the next not at all?

Thank you for the tip on the pistol squats Inés... that worked a treat. Goodness knows which muscle groups I was working the way I was doing them!

The bicycle is beyond me. I get 15 good seconds and then I die. And as for the plank..... 10 seconds on my toes and then I can barely stay with it on my knees for the next 30.

The thing that keeps me going is all your comments as well as the way that I feel and look.

But I am starving each night at dinner and today again did a very bad thing. I had an extra 20-30g of protein when I ate an extra sausage. Maybe the trick is to stand up after I have finished eating my dinner, but I am with our family whom we came over to see so can't very well do that. Sheer bloody minded is what I am going to have to be and just tell myself NO! Watch this space. Other than that I have been religious about what I eat.

Day 38: Everything is slow

Feeling similar to others at the moment. Tired, hungry etc.

But, for the first time in many, many days now don't feel as listless. Waking up in the morning though my whole body hurts. My husband's helpful comment was "I thought that by now your body would have become used to all the exercises". I then had to explain that the lovely Patrick ramps up the exercises each week and that it is just getting harder and harder.

Pistol squats are a nightmare. Tricep dips are better. Push ups better.

Skipping is crap, crap, crap.

Good news is that it is finally Day 38... no longer need to be confused. Think I may need to write days in diary to alleviate confusion.

Day 37: Thought yesterday was Day 38!! Ha Ha losing my mind

So I am definitely losing my eyesight. I thought yesterday was day 38 and put that in my blog title (have just changed it to 36), which meant that I also did Day 38's exercises yesterday. No wonder it was so tough all of a sudden!!!!!

So now what do I do? I did Day 37 exercises today, and think I will just redo Day 38 exercises again tomorrow rather than try to do Day 36 to make up for not having done those ones. Oh the quandry.

In the meantime, am enjoying the cool Scottish air and late nights when it is still light to do everything. My husband joined me as I went around the block twice to do my skipping. Was a bit put off yesterday when one of the neighbours said "you need to go a wee bit faster than that". Thought I was doing quite well myself as round the block is a flat stretch, down a bit of a long slope, more flat and then quite a steep climb. He saw me during the steep climb.

And the good news is that the monster zit that appeared between my two nostrils is finally (but slowly) disappearing. The other good news is that my jeans nearly fell off my hips in the frozen section of Tesco. Will need to think about getting a new pair.

Bad news is that I sinned today. Had my dinner and was still starving. My husband and father in law had Chinese take-away and I couldn't help myself having some of their food. Nibbled, but them nibbled some more and then some more and then some more!

Feel sick now. Will not happen again. Feeling sick not worth it.

Day 36: Melted gummy bears

OK, I confess, I am good with things once how I have slowly figured out how they work, but hadn't realised that by bookmarking my Blog Dashboard I would have absolutely no clue which website I was supposed to go to if I wasn't using my own laptop. On the road and buying internet time my husband and I were surprised when the provider restricted us to one machine! I think we are definitely spoiled in Asia. So I may not have written a Day 37 blog but I did add a comment on to my Day 36 thread. So I haven't actually missed a day which is a big psychological thing for me.

I did miss that one day of exercises on Day 33 as I finally decided to listen to my body, but forced myself to do my ab workout.

On and forward. My whole body is till very, very achy. Not sure if it is residue of the flu-like symptoms, jet-lag, running around London all day yesterday with a lot of walking, not enough sleep from jet-lag or potentially all of the above. Was lying in bed wide awake at 2.15am this morning in agony. All my joints hurt, so I quietly ran a hot bath whilst the rest of the family slept (or at least I hope I didn't wake them up).  Piping hot bath, soaked for a bit and then did my stretching of my calves, hamstrings, neck, shoulders and arms in the bath whilst my muscles were hot. That helped a lot. And then a little later some White Flower Chinese oil on the really painful areas. Still sore, but will loosen up during the day. Will use the waiting area in the boarding lounge to further stretch.

And am keeping my exercises until this evening once we get to Scotland. Just looking at them makes them look BRUTAL!!!!!

Will let you know if my legs and abs and everything else looks and feels like a gummy bear left in the heat of a car in a Tokyo summer, or perhaps I might resemble the inside of a deep fried Mars bar, that famous Scottish delicacy!

Highlight of the day and month was the Take That concert at Wembley. Really good. Poor jet-lagged kids fell asleep though.

Day 34: 5.30am start!

In order to get all my exercises done before I head off to London I surprised myself by actually getting up at 5.30am to do my exercises. I didn't think that a long flight, dinner at the other end with friends and THEN skipping and working out would work. So yes, it was painful, yes my body was tight, but the really good news was that apart from the fact that the katanas nearly killed me I could actually do them. Also the dips worked (sort of). I mentally think to myself as I am going through it all that once the skipping and the creeps, jumps, squats or whatever they may be on that day are over then I am on the home run. It helps me to get through. Of course, it is by no means the easy part, it is just the mental part, as the planks nearly felled me.

I was quite stiff when I woke up so do quite a lot of stretching.

Amazing though that the people who walk their dogs at 6am do not seem to smile. In the afternoon everyone is much more friendly. Think I will stick to what works for me in future as much as possible which is warmer, softer body and a later start.

Skipping in Earls Court tomorrow... a treat, I think..........

Day33: Baby steps

One step at a time. I know I did a few more millimetres on the chest dip and may even have managed a whole cm, just can't tell exactly. So it goes, a little bit at a time.

Off to London for a few days tomorrow then wet and cold Scotland. That will be my biggest challenge yet. In the past leaving my home base has always derailed me. I am going to be fanatical about not veering off the exercise and food path. It will just be a bit more difficult in hotels and other people's homes.

Day 32: One foot off the path, but back on the track

I went off the path last night and I was very upset at myself. Was at a rugby charity event and if I had had time to eat before I would have been OK, I think. Lesson learnt. Not a wine issue. Had water in a wine glass all evening. But had been feeling dreadful anyway and a late lunch and all my snacks as necessary so thought I would be OK, but all of a sudden I was starving. Dinner wasn't served until 9pm. Was planning to just sit there and eat just a little bit, all PCP compliant. But I was really, really, really hungry.

Had too much protein. A bit if carb in the form of vichysoisse. And 3 whole asparagus spears! Strikes me again very strongly that people just do not eat enough vegetables as there doesn't ever seem to be any!! I was still very very hungry as the portions were too small so just couldn't stop myself eating the miniature pavlova. My punishment--other than the guilt and disappointment was a very sore tummy as I can't eat dairy due to intolerance.

Am 100% back on track today.

The good thing was that 1) it was for a very good cause, the children of Tohoku, 2) I feel better as All Black legend Stu Wilson was a brilliant speaker and I just laughed and laughed, and 3) I got quite a few comments on either how I was shrinking away or looked fabulous.

So I never lost the way, just was feeling dreadful enough to know that my body needed something but what was in front of me wasn't my choice.

On an up.

Day 31: Resorted to cycling hill

Feeling like I am getting the flu since yesterday so resorted to riding hills on my bicycle instead of skipping. Also first time I haven't been able to complete an exercise. The katana felled my half-way through. 4x25 leg lifts a huge step up and body certainly felt it. Had to do the plank on my knees, but despite feeling like death warmed over I felt that I was listening to my body rather than giving up. Was ready to give up half way through the leg lifts, but since I am determined to work on my abs especially hard, I just fixed on a corner in my mind and went for it, albeit it not at the fastest speed. Looking forward to a better day tomorrow.